To horror buffs and a growing portion of America, this means nothing.So I’m out here cheerily laughing and pointing in derision as reflection on the latest Oscar snoozefest shows that it was one of the worst rated iterations of the awards ceremony to date.

There are quite possibly a lot of reasons behind this–people don’t want to watch celebrities congratulate themselves for hours on end, people are getting sick of “who are you wearing?” when they can barely afford a roof over their head, people have discovered the incredible entertainment value in watching paint dry (at least as it compares to the Oscars–I’d sooner watch a back-to-back block of Animal Planet’s Puppy Bowl than that drivel, and I can only take ten minutes of the Puppy Bowl at a sitting.) but I have another possible explanation.

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By now, every blogger on this world wide web of ours has covered 10,000 B.C. I hereby reluctantly join their ranks. I’ve put it off long enough; it’s time.

10,000 B.C.10,000 B.C. is the latest historical epic in the vein of Apocalypto, which nobody cared about either. In the world of film, 10,000 B.C. is pretty much no-count, but it’s almost guaranteed to attract the great unwashed masses. People who show up to the theater on a Friday night with no particular movie in mind will go for it. It looks so deliciously…epic.

Roland Emmerich, the hit-or-miss director of both The Patriot and The Day After Tomorrow, is helming this one. That pretty much guarantees it will either make billions or fail miserably, and most critics are predicting the former.

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This, too, is a black hole.In a round of musical directors, control over one of the latest Neil Gaiman films, Black Hole, has been handed off from Alexandre Aja to David Fincher.

Black Hole, meanwhile, sounds like a real winner. There’s a sexually transmitted disease roaming around, and it doesn’t kill you or do anything that makes you wish you were dead, but rather, it mutates you. In the world of Black Hole, there are two kinds of people—people who look normal and either aren’t getting any or are getting it in the safest possible fashion, and the folks with two heads and four eyes and such that have sex like bunnies on crank. The second group lives mostly underground, and I expect that, eventually, they will be one royally pissed-off underclass that will go cuckoo bananas and smash the overworlders into dirt.

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The writer’s strike is mercifully over, and, for the most part, we can all return to our lives. Our shows are back, our awards extravaganzas are back…life has returned to normal.

WGASort of.

Like any conflict, the strike leaves behind some residual casualties, mostly television series whose production was interrupted during the strike and has yet to resume.

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Number one at the box office this week is highly anticipated political thriller Vantage Point, about eight strangers who witness a presidential assassination. Each one has a piece of the puzzle, but how do they all fit together?

Vantage PointNot too well, apparently. The votes are counted, the reviews are in, and Vantage Point remains at a dismal 35% on Rotten Tomatoes, the internet’s most trusted review aggregator.

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