I admit it, I used to like wrestling. When I was a kid, I couldn’t get enough man-on-man fisticuffs. I thought I had outgrown my fascination with Sports Entertainment. But apparently, there is still a little part of me that wants to see another man in a figure four leglock, desperately trying to keep his knee in one piece.

Firepro Wrestling Returns was released late last year for the PlayStation 2 for under $20. That should give you some idea of how primitive this game is. But it is still an utterly ridiculously, completely captivating experience. Who knew?

It starts with the amount of moves and wrestlers in the game. There are hundreds there, including some old favorites from the 80s hiding behind clever names so the developers didn’t have to shell out licensing fees.

Don’t see your favorite? Make your own! I made a caricature of my friend wearing only a speedo and with an inordinate amount of backhair. See how far you can push your loved ones before they crack!

Or make your own championship belt. I won the first annual World’s Best Dad competition by hitting my opponent merciless with a steel chair. I think they do it slightly different in the real tournament.

Yes, the game is shallow, but who said video games were supposed to take the place of Russian Literature?

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