We all remember Freddy Vs. Jason, right? It’s probably best described as a big deal, not half bad movie featuring the best extended fight scene of all time, right? Sure, that’s debatable, but when Jason actually lifted Freddy off the ground and ran him through the side of a building—lengthwise!—I knew we were in for a real donnybrook.

Foreshadowing? Or Just So Obvious It Can’t Be Missed?

And when Freddy’s head winked at us whilst being carried by Jason, you couldn’t help but know that we weren’t done. This was a cash cow whose udders had been barely touched.

The great dorm room / high school debate had come to pass, and Freddy took on Jason in a knock-down, drag-out, full-bore brawl that made Neo and Agent Smith look like six year olds fighting over a dirty lollipop.

You want a burly brawl, Wachowskis? Freddy and Jason. That’s your burly brawl!

Which Makes What I’m About To Say No Real Surprise

The newest rumor, and one that gets me downright enthused, is the addition of silent killing machine Michael Myers. Fresh off a horrible Rob Zombie remake, the Shatner mask might well be back in action chopping up promiscuous teenagers and battling two of the biggest names in slasher action sooner than anyone thinks.

And frankly, I’m looking forward to this. Look, we’re not here for developed storylines or depth of feeling in acting—we want to see three big names batter away at each other until only one is left standing. I want to see Jason Voorhees pick up Michael Myers by the legs and use him as a club to beat the ever-lovin’ crap out of Freddy Krueger. That’s the kind of spectacle I occasionally enjoy in a horror flick, and it’s just the kind of thing these three stooges can bring to life.

But for now, there’s Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday the 13th questions afoot on Kwanzoo to satisfy your horror lust at Kwanzoo.

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