And I want five twenty-year-old Asian chicks to bring a twenty pound Snickers bar to my house wrapped in thousand dollar bills.

But that ain’t happening either.

In all seriousness, apparently Warwick’s been out in British bookstores hawking upcoming release Small Town Folk, and talking to the press at random about the possibility of the next Leprechaun movie.  Indeed, he had some nifty ideas for it: a Wild West themed Leprechaun, even a Pirates of the Caribbean style Leprechaun in which pirates have seized the Leprechaun’s gold.

This may well be the best idea of all as pirates will generally be of European descent (yes, of COURSE there are Moorish pirates of the day but you have to admit much of the Caribbean trade was handled by Dutchmen and Englishmen and Frenchmen and Spaniards.  So especially with the Englishmen the chances of an Irish legend having made the rounds in the pirate circles is actually very good.

But of course, even poor Warwick himself, who managed to make substantially good by landing a recurring role in the Harry Potter franchise, knows all too well where the next Leprechaun is likely to end up:  back in tha hood.  He even SAYS it like that.  THA HOOD.  As though he knows full well it’s pointless exploitationalism but he loves the character (and the money probably doesn’t hurt) and so he’d go back to THA HOOD if that was what was required of him.

Frankly, I hope Lions Gate, who’s taken over the Leprechaun series as a result of buyouts, has sense enough to pay attention to Warwick’s ideas.  They’re actually pretty good, and I would DEFINITELY be eager to handle Leprechaun 8: Leprechauns of the Caribbean.

Yarr.

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