Recently, you might have heard about the judge who mandated that girl named Talula Does the Hula in Hawaii be renamed. Yes, that was her actual name. Talula Does the Hula in Hawaii. Some parents are that crazy.

But they’re nowhere near as crazy as some celebrity parents. Take, for example, Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale’s newest addition, Zuma Nesta Rock. That sounds like a name I would invent if I were writing a screenplay about a futuristic world where parents will accept millions of dollars to name their children after food and beverage products.

That actually doesn’t sound like a bad idea. DON’T YOU STEAL IT.

Actor Jason Lee recently had a baby girl, and my money’s on a crazy name. Want to know why? He named his son Pilot Inspektor.

See if you can match up these crazy celebrity kid names with their crazy celebrity parents.

1. Sailor Lee
2. Kal-El
3. Max Liron
4. Homer James Jigme
5. Free
6. Ever Gabo
7. Reignbeau (say it out loud!)
8. Scout Larue
9. Dweezil
10. Makena’lei Gordon

a. Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman
b. Barbara Hershey and David Carradine
c. Ving Rhames and Deborah Reed
d. Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook
e. Bruce Willis and Demi Moore
f. Richard Gere and Carey Lowell
g. Milla Jovovich and Paul W.S. Anderson
h. Frank Zappa and Gail Zappa
i. Nicholas Cage and Alice Kim
j. Helen Hunt and Matthew Carnahan

Highlight for answer key:

1. d, 2. i, 3. a, 4. f, 5. b, 6. g, 7. c, 8. e, 9. h, 10. j.

Now maybe I’m just old-fashioned, but there are certain things I feel should be avoided when naming your children – naming them with names they will carry with them for the rest of their lives.

Things you should not do:

Name a child after the first object you see when he is born.

Give your child an ethnic name when neither she nor either of her parents is connected to the ethnicity.

Give your child an “alternate” spelling of his name, so that he is doomed to a life of explanations.

Name your child after Superman.

I think that about covers it.

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