How Are The Big Cable Networks Like A Neutered Dog?

The answer: Neither has any balls.

Not so long ago–about two years ago, in fact, Showtime started showing installments of the short-lived series Masters of Horror.  All was going fine and hunky-dory until Takashi Miike showed up with his copy of Imprint and suddenly Showtime, which had been one of the only places left you could see PG-13 movies on television unedited, blanched at the thought of showing it on their precious airwaves.  The word that I got from TV.com as to reasons goes as follows:

Showtime executives were extremely unhappy with the episode that was screened for them and determined that that scenes depicted during the episode’s broadcast would not be appropriate for their audience.

Give me a BREAK, Showtime–your audience routinely sees acts of death and gross dismemberment on a regular basis.  Showtime Beyond is almost exclusively a horror channel.

But that wasn’t bad enough–apparently, HBO is also joining the Empty Sack Parade and declaring that the television adaptation of the Garth Ennis comic book “Preacher” is just too dark and too violent and too controversial for them.

Weren’t these the guys who brought us The Sopranos? You know, that show with nonstop gunplay and profanity and strippers and whatnot EVERY EPISODE?  And now suddenly they can’t tackle Preacher?

It was bad enough when basic cable became as watered-down as the networks, but now PREMIUM cable is going the same way?  We PAY for cable!  No one has to have cable!  Why are the unnecessary and draconian prohibitions placed on network television applying to cable broadcasts?

I blame the FCC, kids.  The FCC has been running amok for years, slapping enormous, ridiculous fines on television for momentary slips of nipple and light profanity.  Networks had to beg and snivel just so they could show Saving Private Ryan on television unedited, which under NORMAL FCC rules, they would have had to edit extensively.  What does it say about a government agency so dedicated to a false standard of decency that it won’t allow a frank and honest depiction of America’s heroes to be shown unedited without SPECIAL DISPENSATION??

These assholes work for US, folks, and it’s about time we got up and told them we don’t need their nanny state any more!  Here’s contact information for the FCC.  Run amok.

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