I do not understand the concept of Call of Duty. It’s supposed to be a real war situation, right? The opposing army - the Nazis - have been a target of hatred and ill-humored jokes for more than 60 years. The environments are modeled after the dank, cold places that serve as real grave sites and the guns are intricately designed mirrors of classic weapons. This is a real war, right? So why is it so darn fake?

It’s pretty sickening how woefully inept the Call of Duty games are at delivering a real war experience. Though the scenery is ripped straight from a history book, the gameplay is just insulting. It’s one thing for Master Chief to have a regenerating health shield - he does wear special armor - but some lowly private in WWII? Does it make any sense that he’s blessed with Wolverine’s healing ability?

I guess he needs to be because he’s certainly not going to get any help from his fellow soldiers. These games all boil down to a one-man wrecking crew, with the little allies you have dying as quickly as they can to pave the way to your glory. I don’t remember reading many stories about one brave American mowing down wave after wave of evil Nazi. It’s the kind of sensational crap that makes war seem like a good thing, where heroes are made and evil is vanquished, as opposed to the sad, deadly event it really is. Maybe parents should be more worried about the messages of the games they’re buying their young children and not how much blood or swearing is in it.

And if the ridiculous inaccuracies aren’t enough, the gameplay is equally embarrassing. I’m sorry, but when I’m sprinting away from a ticking grenade, I expect to be able to clear a 3″ piece of wood on the ground. And how often is war simply about memorizing enemy locations? Shouldn’t the AI have more dynamic actions? Or do real soldiers happily run into a clearing after watching three of their fellow countrymen get gunned down at the same place?

I guess I do understand the concept of Call of Duty - it’s a sanitized war experience for people terrified by the real thing. Well the whole thing just makes me sick. According to sales numbers, I’m alone. Luckily, we have some Call of Duty trivia to keep people away from the killing for a few minutes.

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