The first time you watch the new “Star Trek” trailer, you might think you’ve been pranked. Especially if you know nothing about Star Trek beyond the very basics. It’s very possible that the show outlined Kirk crashing in a sportscar at some point as a child, and meeting a weird spaceman, but for most people I think it’s a pretty cool device.

Anyway, I’m about as qualified to judge this as I am a racehorse. I mean, its ribs aren’t sticking out and it doesn’t have any compound fractures. But beyond that, I have no idea. I think Jeremy Quinto looks and sounds fantastic, but that isn’t going to surprise anyone. He’s beloved in the sci-fi world, and he committed to shaving his eyebrows in a funny shape, so he can’t be all bad.

Kirk. I don’t know about Kirk. Playing the role of Kirk isn’t really about having any talent, it’s about being able to deliver completely cheeseball dialogue and make it sound good. Not all good actors have this talent. Take, for example, Halle Berry. I truly believe she is a talented actress, but put her in some crap like “Catwoman” and she bombs. Hopefully, Christopher Pine will pull this off a little more successfully.

People are complaining about Scotty not being played by a Scottish guy, but I think more people are huge Simon Pegg fans and don’t care. His accent sounds okay to me in the trailer. Scottish accents are, no offense, pretty silly-sounding even when you get them right. I have been to Scotland, and you wouldn’t foresee this, but it is actually very hard to understand a lot of the natives. They understand us perfectly, due to their minds being corrupted by American television. It makes for some very awkward conversations. I guess my point is that as long as he’s coherent, I don’t care if his accent is authentic.

I have no idea if this movie will be any good. I have no idea if it will appeal to people who know nothing of the franchise. But so far it looks pretty cool, and I wish it was getting a little more attention.

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