So I was having Thanksgiving dinner with the folks and grandma and my aunt, and it’s a staple to watch the big dog show.  Naturally I was rooting for what I considered to be the underdog at the time, the bassett hound, who I believed deserved a little extra cheering by dint of the fact that he was an ugly little son of a bitch (literally!) but still roamed that floor like he couldn’t be happier to be there.

Every step that dog took was followed by a cavalcade of tail wagging.  And I mean EVERYWHERE.

During the dog show, there was an ad for a movie that made me cringe to see it.  No, not the Hellraiser remake…rather a little family comedy called “Marley and Me”, a movie all about a cute dog and its befuddled owners, played by Jennifer Aniston and permanently befuddled Owen Wilson.

Those of you wondering what it’s about need look no farther–I got this synopsis straight out of the IMDB right here.

A family learns important life lessons from their adorable, but naughty and neurotic dog.

If you’re not joining me in a fusillade of groans, well, I’m surprised.  This is pretty much Hollywood exposing its underbelly in a gesture of surrender as it says “We’re so desperate to make money we’ll shoot a movie that’s eighty-five minutes of CUTE DOG.”  Of course, the books that the movie is based on (yes, there are books.  plural.) takes that “naughty and neurotic” to new levels.  In the books, Marley is terrified by thunderstorms and is capable of chewing through doors.

If that’s naughty and neurotic then someone needs to apologize for putting down CUJO.

Plus, in the books, Marley dies after a chronic reoccurance of bloat.  I somehow doubt they’ll be showing THAT particular part of things.  So what we’re going to be left with is probably going to be even more sugary than great-aunt Louise’s cranberry lime Jello, and even tougher to stomach.

I’ve really had enough of these cutesy-poo cash grabs.  I know Hollywood hates original ideas the way Frankenstein hated fire, but enough is ENOUGH.

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