And so the great Saw Engine descends into its own little valley of madness—the question is, does anyone want to follow this thing down?

Frankly, I do. It looks like it’s going to be a spectacular train wreck, and I can hardly wait to see the fallout!

Check out the plot on this monster—it’s presently unconfirmed, so who knows? But it’s the best we’ve got as of this second, so let’s check it out:

John Kramer, cooling on a slab and still quite dead. Detective Hoffman, hunted and captured by a sadistic apprentice. Agent Perez, suddenly gone missing. And now, Agent Perez is told, ostensibly by the sadistic apprentice, that she has only a limited time to live unless she finds Hoffman, who caused her to be hospitalized in the first place. And of course, to get to Hoffman, she’s going to have to go through a world of mechanized hurt. One of which will involve her missing partner Strahm, who’s also suffered from Hoffman’s acts.

I don’t know where to begin. I’m laughing myself stupid, of course, and saluting the cynical canniness of that magnificent bastard Darren Bousman who jumped ship and left David Hackl as the captain of this particular doomed voyage. Where are these apprentices coming from? Did Kramer start himself a school for random psychopaths at some point and not bother to tell anyone until RIGHT NOW?

The entire Saw series has painted itself into a corner, kids, and the chances of it weaseling its way out grow slimmer with each passing iteration. I’m really looking forward to Halloween now, because it’s not Halloween without Saw! And this Saw looks to be getting duller with each passing sequel.

And until we can enjoy Halloween with Saw, try the Saw series trivia on Kwanzoo.

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