Not too many of you out there know this…but I have a LIST. It may not come as a surprise to you, but it’s a list, and it’s not a pleasant one. It’s my Crimes Against Moviegoers list, and it’s the five worst directors I know of. Some names will be familiar; Herr Doktor Uwe Boll makes the list, as does alleged “classic” producer Roger Corman. But number two on my list of five—you just saw four and five right there—is a man you may not be familiar with.

And if you are, then you know why I just can’t stand Charles Band.

There’s a whole lot of reasons why, and one of the most recent is called King Bong, the upcoming sequel to his why-does-this-even-exist magnum opus Killer Bong. No, seriously…not only did this guy actually shoot a movie about a marijuana water pipe that ran amok and killed people, he’s planning a sequel to it. Limited information is available at this stage, but apparently, people will be going into the jungle to find an ancient statue of a bong. Probably someone will try to smoke it. It will then run amok and kill people.

Again.

Words cannot express the depth of my disgust.

And until we get a chance to see just how bad indie filmmaking can get, try the indie movie trivia on Kwanzoo.

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