I don’t know about you, but when I see the phrase “Teen Choice Awards,” I get the impression that awards are going to be given out based on votes by teenagers. It just makes sense, doesn’t it? It’s right there in the title. And if you happen to be paging through Cosmo Girl or Teen People, not that I do, and you find a tear-out ballot, that certainly adds to the idea. Visiting the Teen Choice Awards website in the spring or early summer gives the impression that if you don’t vote, you are officially Not Cool.

So imagine my surprise when I did a little research, and found this out.

I guess teens can’t be trusted to decide their own favorite things.

Naturally, I became curious if Fox admitted to any of this on the loud, colorful awards website. But unless it’s buried somewhere in reams of unreadable legalese, I don’t see any hints as to the true nature of the awards. Since it’s off-season, the voting page now reads:

Sorry guys, the voting is closed! You really helped make TC08 great! You will love it! So be sure to tune August 4th 8p/7pm CT on FOX!!!!!!! It’s Teen Choice, Your Voice!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Their slogan certainly implies that your vote might actually have something to do with the final outcome. It’s amazing how much you can get people to assume just by using certain buzzwords - people never really think to ask where their “votes” are going. How, exactly, did they “help make TC08 great?” Even if no one voted, the show would still go on. It’s kind of like when someone runs for office unopposed and claims that they “need your vote.” No, you don’t. Shut up.

I wouldn’t mind this so much if the media didn’t continue to treat the awards as something meaningful. The surfboard trophies should have been a tip, but hey, in case you’re still laboring under the delusion that the Teen Choice Awards are anything other than a ratings grab…they’re not.

(In case you still care, check out the list of this year’s winners here.)

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