If you believe the hyperbole engine surrounding Transformers 2, especially the nonsense spewing forth from oh-so-qualified Megan Fox, Transformers 2 will, somehow, manage to be TEN TIMES AS BIG as the original.

And sure, she’s got at least some logic–she claims there will be “ten times as many set pieces, explosions, and acrobatic stunts”. Further quotes from Ms. Fox, however, reveal serious potential troubles.

“You know, we’ve been having script meetings, and we’ve been reworking the script, because they wrote it fast because of the writer’s strike. And, we’ve just been going through and trying to do some character stuff for Shia and myself in the middle of this crazy world that they’re in. I can tell you that we’re on locations in some really exotic places. It’s just going to be a badass movie. It’s just going to be a popcorn-visual-spectacle, summer film.”

One, they’re trying to rewrite a slapdash script from before the writer’s strike. That’s a dark, DARK, sign right there–would YOU try to flip a house that was stick-built in three days? Chances are there’s serious-ass problems with the wiring and the plumbing and possibly even the structure itself. When it rains, the kitchen ceiling leaks, but at least it gets better water pressure than the shower! It’s all too likely that that script is, rather, a total tear-down. If we don’t hear later on about script problems I’m gonna be AMAZED.

Two, when your lead actress / eye candy is calling it “badass” and “visual spectacle”, run. Run for the hills. Run like Mexican water through a first-time tourist, but just RUN. Anyone hoping for logic or plot improvements or just for the series to stop grinding our childhood memories into the dirt for crying out loud will be sorely disappointed. Because this is a “popcorn-visual-spectacle-summer film”.

Three, clearly, Megan Fox is not interested in, you know, math. The first Transformers had a budget of one hundred fifty million. For it to be “ten times as big” would require a shooting budget of a cool one point five billion dollars. The likelihood of this is, of course, laughably low.

So either Megan Fox is lying or just ignorant, I’m not sure which. Frankly, I’m leaning toward ignorant.

And until we can find out if, despite Fox’s tenuous grasp of math, she’s right, enjoy the Transformers trivia on Kwanzoo.

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