I figured it out: “True Blood” is just a ploy by HBO to get people to subscribe. When next summer comes around, I know I am going to be…at least seriously considering a subscription to HBO. And so will every other “True Blood” fan who wasn’t already subscribed. I might be alone in this boat, although I imagine there are some other folks who just happened to get a three-month subscription for free because DirecTV, or someone acting on their behalf, tricked them into signing up for an extremely expensive football package that cost 200% more than they admitted at the time.

Anyway, my point is that they ended the series on a massive cliffhanger. I hate that. Each season of a show should stand alone. I don’t want to wait months to find out what happens with the crazy horse/pig/flickering lady, and whoever was stashed in the annoying sheriff’s car. All right, this will be a bit spoilery from hereon out.

Other loose ends include: how did Bill survive. Okay, so he wasn’t alive in the first place, but that does not explain what happened. You all saw it. He got burnt up to a crisp, and somehow being buried for a while fixed him right up. I want to understand exactly how this deus ex machina happened, because I am convinced they just did that whole thing to screw around with us. I thought he was dead.

I nearly cried.

I’m pretty proud of Sookie (and the writers) for killing Rene with a shovel. A lot of shows wouldn’t have the courage to make the heroine stab someone in the throat with a blunt instrument, but thank God this isn’t one of them.

I wish I had any idea where the show was going from here. In the books, I know that Sookie and Bill break up because he cheats on her with his Maker (that hot Civil War vampire lady from earlier in the show). Obviously, Jessica is meant to be in the show as well, because ha ha it’s funny when a vampire can’t control his “kid.” But beyond that…who knows? Getting rid of Bill would be suicide for the show right now; he’s the main draw for quite a few people.

Ugh, I don’t know. I can’t figure it out. I’ll see you all in summer of 2009, okay?

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