Apparently, some collective of morons out there has started a petition circulating that encourages the addition of a certain cast member to the upcoming Nightmare on Elm Street remake.
A counterpetition was launched directly after–not surprisingly–that DISCOURAGED the addition of this same cast member to the upcoming Nightmare on Elm Street remake.
It might surprise you when I tell you that for is currently outweighing against by a factor of two to one in favor, especially when you find out who it is. Okay, enough beating around the bush already–no pun intended–the actress in question is none other than Hollywood speed bump TARA REID!!
No, seriously. Tara Reid. Hey…wait…where you going? Get back here! I’ve got to PROSELYTIZE on this!
Needless to say I’m just spectacularly torqued about this whole debacle in the making. I mean, SON of a bitch, can we find no one better than TARA REID to put in a slasher flick? I’ve seen chia pets and disposable Pepsi bottles put on a better performance than Tara Reid. Come to think of it, I’d sooner see the chia pet get the role than Tara Reid. At least the chia pet wouldn’t look like it spent the last six months nose-deep in a coca plantation if you get my drift.
And yet, the contrarian argument makes some sense. Robert Englund won’t be coming back, thus the film is already spectacularly screwed before they even start shooting. Since it’s a hopeless situation, why not go for all the gusto you can grab and make it truly godawful! An edifice of lousy filmmaking to stand the test of time! Sure, Tara can come play! say the contrarians. Why not get DJ Qualls in there too? Why not get–dare we say it?–HERR DOKTOR UWE BOLL to direct?!
Yeah! Sure! This whole thing’s completely SNAFU’d so why don’t we crank the mother clear past FUBAR??
There’s something about that kind of devil-may-care devotion to sheer balls-out horrible filmmaking glee that appeals. But then, there’s something about supporting Tara Reid’s career that seems so…um…what’s the word?
Oh. Yeah. REPREHENSIBLE.
I’m so very conflicted.
Let’s just go play original Nightmare on Elm Street trivia and leave this to resolve itself, kay?
Popularity: 1% [?]
