Twilight–As If There Weren’t Enough Angsty Vampire Movies Already….
This just saddens me, folks. I’m so very sick and tired of vampires in movies, because the last time they did it even close to right was with 30 Days of Night, and even that was the first time in a long time. But no…now we’re stuck with yet another vampire movie from director Catherine Hardwicke.
It’s called Twilight, and this time it involves Nikki Reed from Lords of Dogtown and some O.C. type guys. It’s going to start shooting in Portland, Oregon with an eye to arrive in theatres somewhere around dumping ground season—late 2008 to early 2009. And by the sounds of it, it’s going to be a perfect movie for the January throwaway pile because it’s yet another vampire movie that will probably feature loads of teen angst just like similar vampiric suckfest Blood and Chocolate. The plot synopsis on the IMDB is even worse–I quote: “A teenage girl risks all when she falls in love with a vampire.” If that doesn’t say “January waste pile”, I don’t know what does
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The new Knight Rider T.V. movie is a perfect example. Knight Rider was mindless drivel even in its heyday; do we really need a re-imagining? Apparently.
Okay, granted, the overall quality of the zombie film has been something of a mixed bag. It’s still my personal favorite genre because it uses all the best tenets of the great subgenre known as survival horror. I loves me some survival horror. And, for better or for worse, zombie movies are the place to get it. But it hasn’t often been very interesting, and let’s be honest, many zombie films are crap. But there’s a new one—yes, another new one—coming out that looks to break the streak.
Just ahead of the Beijing Olympics, the Chinese step up and remind us that their government is completely bughouse insane by declaring a 
And naturally, in true Hollywood form, someone’s 
I don’t mean weird like the guy who accosts women at the bus stop while holding up his pants with one hand, I mean weird like…eccentric. If you’ve seen Spider-Man 3 (don’t worry, you will heal) recall the pie scene. The “sooo good” scene. If you haven’t, just trust me, he’s weird.
This is just all sorts of bad news. Bad enough that incredible, groundbreaking, innovative horror series Masters of Horror got lousy in its second season and thus shut down. But worse yet is that Mick Garris, the show’s creator, packed up and moved to a new show called 
The classic children’s book was written and illustrated by Maurice Sendak, whose unique style and vision have made him an extremely popular artist and writer. He has created sets for operas, ballets, and stage productions of all types, notably the Pacific Northwest Ballet’s Nutcracker. Now 79, Sendak is retired from the writing, but Spike Jonze is paying tribute to one of his most famous works.
Wasn’t that great?
Perhaps the greatest cinematic tragedy of our era is a man named Uwe Boll. This person—and I use the term person begrudgingly—has been responsible for a great many movie travesties. House of the Dead, for example, or Bloodrayne, or even In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale—all of these are excellent examples of the kind of slop that Uwe Boll has subjected us poor, poor audience types to. Now…word is, he’s having a horrible time finding investors to make his brand of godawful movies, which is not a surprise as pretty much everything ever released anywhere ever with the Uwe Boll name attached to it is a red flag the size of Zimbabwe.