There are two ways to interpret the phrase “celebrity Halloween costume.” You could be dressing up as a celebrity, or you could be copying a celebrity’s costume. Either plan is kind of lame, but if you’re going to do it, then you might as well do it right. So let me give you some pointers, okay?

1. Do Not Be Amy Winehouse

This will be 2008’s most popular celebrity costume, and for good reason: no one can stop talking about her. And that is exactly why you should NOT be Amy Winehouse. Everyone is sick of her, and ultimately it’s just an excuse to have smeared makeup and drink too much. If you try really really hard, I bet you can be a little more creative than this.

2. Do Not Be the Joker

At first this might not seem celebrity-related, until you remember Heath Ledger. Yeah. That guy. He was a celebrity, and then he died. Maybe it’s not at all disrespectful to ape his interpretation of the Joker for your Halloween costume, but even if it’s not, please don’t be The Joker. Even this week’s episode of The Office made a joke about it. If you go to a party, there will be at least two Jokers there already, and you’ll feel stupid.

3. Do Not Be Any of These Things

….whatever Rosie O’Donnell is supposed to be.

….Cleopatra, or anyone with a giant headpiece that leaves you unable to support the weight of your own head.

….a slutty bride.

Now, your first priority shouldn’t be to dress up as something that no one else is going to be dressed up as. A side effect of that will be explaining your costume to everyone and getting a blank stare, because they have no idea what you’re talking about. I used to dress up as Lord of the Rings characters back before the movies came out, and nobody knew who I was. But I was proud and happy, and that’s what you should aim for: a costume that makes you feel good and lets you live in your fantasy world for just one day.

And have a happy Halloween, won’t you?

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