The day of aggressive weirdness continues unabated as I read today that some random stranger in Korea ran out of a pet store one afternoon and gave Paris Hilton a dog.

Why?  Who knows! Even SHE doesn’t!

But that’s half the fun of blogging, so, let’s lay right on it with today piece, entitled:

Why A Random Korean Guy Gave Paris Hilton A Free Pomeranian.

5. It’s Boring in Korea, So They Make Their Own Fun.

This Korean guy knew all about Paris Hilton, and knew that, indeed, she was not the shiniest Krugerrand in the vault, and thus wanted the fantastic joke about seeing what she named the dog.  Indeed, Hilton did not disappoint, naming this furry little mop of a dog “Marilyn Monroe”.  Yeah, Marilyn Monroe.  She named a POMERANIAN Marilyn Monroe.  That joke speaks for itself.

But considering they live within spitting distance of a diminutive madman who both owns nukes AND likes slasher flicks (can the guy be all THAT bad if he’s into horror flicks?  I know these days that can get me sent to Gitmo but a little diplomacy can’t hurt–If you’re reading this one Jong-Il welcome to the blog.) it’s probably not THAT boring in Korea that they need to taunt celebrities for fun.

4. They Were Trying To Introduce Her To A New Form Of Take-Out.

For those of you about to scream “racism!”, I’m about to make you all look like total prats.  Kaegogi, or dog meat, is a traditional Korean dish. So it is CONCEIVABLY possible they were tossing Paris Hilton a round of kaegogi to go.  Yes, I know it wouldn’t be a LIVE pomeranian and kaegogi is more accurately a SOUP made from dog meat but the concept is VALID.

3. It Was A Commentary On Paris’ Overall Attitude.

Chances are she didn’t name the MALE dog “Marilyn Monroe”.  I’ll leave you to fill in the blanks (protip: a FEMALE dog is commonly referred to by breeders as a “bitch”).

2. Free Advertising–They Hoped

Anyone want to put some cash on the idea that the guy who threw Paris Hilton the Pomeranian actually owned that shop, and was hoping Paris might be bright enough to tell everybody where she got it?  Ooops, sorry dude…never bet on Paris Hilton for original thought.  Remember, this is the chick who’s famous for being famous.

Maybe she’ll at least make it her new purse dog, and he can get some bragging rights out of the deal.

1. It’s A North Korean Plot To Smuggle Nukes Into Beverly Hills.

People throw Paris Hilton free stuff wherever she goes, it seems like.  A handbag here, shoes there, a Pomeranian….

…STUFFED FULL OF PLUTONIUM!  Or smack, whatever.

Okay, sure, so this is about as likely as a meteor hitting the earth and destroying all life, but man…that’d make a really good movie, wouldn’t it?  Random celebrity hops around the globe, going from place to place, being “showered” with “gifts” and making the news because of it…but what if this was all deliberate?  What if all the “gifts” she was tossed were actually full of illicit substances?   It’s not like customs is going to toss Paris Hilton’s luggage very hard.  And they’re DEFINITELY not going to do deep cavity searches on her new pet Pomeranian.

By the time she gets home, it could be that North Korean terrorist elements are waiting with their finger on the button, waiting…just waiting for Paris to get home, toss Marilyn Monroe a Frisbee, then boom!  Good bye Prada!

Personally my money’s on number 2…but these days?  Anything’s possible.

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