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To whoever’s in charge of distribution at Disney’s motion picture department, an open letter. Rather, a note. Okay, just one scream of frustrated rage:

Enough with the sequels already!

For crying out loud, I just found out about yet another High School Musical, and then you follow that up by hitting me with another two National Treasures, and then even worse you’re trying to foist off three more NARNIA movies on me??

What’s next from you people? Another eight Aladdins? Beauty and the Beast Part Twenty Five? You people milk a franchise harder than the eighties slasher film market! At least it took them decades to do a complete run–you guys churn them out faster than Milano cookies roll off the Pepperidge Farm assembly line! Now, I loves me some Milanos but I’m getting sick and to death of Disney and its endless array of sequels.

I know you guys have some kind of obscene fascination with money–this is why Hannah Montana still exists, after all–but honestly, a little originality would go a long way. You’re just a a sequel farm at this point, do you understand that? A sequel farm!

Of course, I can’t yell too loudly about there being more Narnia movies slated. It’s based on the C.S. Lewis books and there were like eight of them in the series, so it’s only fair that each book should get a series. Not that all that many people really cared about it after Prince Caspian minced his way into the production. Eeeyipes. That was where I stopped reading and that was back in like fourth grade.

Though thankfully, there are still plenty of at least somewhat original Disney titles already floating around, and you can get all the Disney movie trivia you ever wanted right here on Kwanzoo.

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