Have you ever stabbed a man in the face with a carrot?

Have you ever wanted to stab a man in the face with a carrot?

Have you ever thought “hey, it would be unbelievably awesome if Clive Owen stabbed a man in the face with a carrot, instantly killing him?”

Then Shoot ‘Em Up is a movie for you.

It’s a (mostly) dead-on satire of action movies, playing up the “hero must protect the innocent” to its ultimate extreme: Clive Owen, mysterious trigger-happy hero, rescues a baby.

Of course this baby is part of a genetic experiment and Owen is in for much, MUCH more than he bargained for. What a shock. Monica Belluci is the fetish prostitute turned wet nurse, who provides the obligatory female nudity, and Paul Giamatti is intensely creepy as the villain. He’s so good, in fact, he’s almost wasted in this tepidly received comedy.

Shoot ‘Em Up offers everything a good action flick can give, plus a good dose of humor and wit. It’s so dry that some film goers took it a bit too seriously, basing their reviews entirely on the impossibility of killing a man with a carrot.

Shoot ‘Em Up falls flat only towards the end, with a pro gun control message that may or not be facetious, but feels incredibly forced either way. I guess if you use produce, murder is okay.

Bottom line? It’s worth a rental, but you probably won’t watch it more than once unless you have an unnatural love for corny one-liners…and carrots.

Popularity: 4% [?]

Categories: Movie stories //