Well, we got a new episode of “Fringe” this week. Finally. And this episode only solidifies my concept of the “Fringe Formula,” which I imagine as going somewhat like this:

1. Think of something really gross that could happen to the human body
2. Make it science-y
3. ?????
4. Profit!

This week’s gross-out is a big ol’ parasite wrapped around a guy’s heart. It kind of looks like a centipede. It’s throwing tentacles all over the place, screwing up his heart, et cetera et cetera. I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve started to lose interest in the show, but from what I gathered, they traced the parasite back to some guy who is imprisoned in total isolation in Germany. For whatever reason.

Anyway, Olivia uses her amazing power to dig up an old flame who works in Germany, and he manages to get her an audience with the prisoner. However, he refuses to speak unless they will first allow him to communicate with a colleague in the U.S. named Joseph Smith. Unfortunately, the FBI is currently going after Joseph Smith after having been tipped off that he’s related to the parasite somehow, and they shoot him for some reason.

All the prisoner needs from Smith is a particular code word, so Walter decides to rig up some crazy thing with a car battery and his son’s brain to figure out what the code word is. (As the show has established, it is, in fact, possible to speak to the dead. As long as they’re not brain-damaged.) His son scribbles down a series of vertical lines, and it turns out that these lines represent “little hill.” Which is, apparently, the code word.

The man is saved and all is well. And I don’t mean to spoil this episode for you, but I’m going to anyway.

SPOILERS

After parasite guy wakes up, he asks his wife, “did it work?” and she’s all like “yes.” And he’s all like “what’s a code word?” And she’s all like “little hill.”

First of all, that is just second to the “…and it was all a dream” ending. What an irritating cop-out. Secondly, IS ALL OF THIS LEADING SOMEWHERE, OR WHAT? This show really doesn’t tie together as well as Lost. It doesn’t even tie together as well as a candy necklace. Come on, J.J. Abrams. Deliver.

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