It’s still the holiday season, folks, so with that thought in mind, here’s a winner Yuletide recipe for you—how to make a twenty minute short cartoon into a one hundred four minute movie!

Gigantic Christmas Knockoff Souffle

1. Take classic Christmas fare—Frosty the Snowman, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, or in this case, How the Grinch Stole Christmas.
2. Add one cup raw greed for box office receipts
3. Add one tablespoon of copyright clearances so you can perpetrate this heinous act in the first place
4. Add one big-name celebrity and stir until creamy. Your budget will not allow for more than one.
5. Add grandstanding subreferences to the director–especially his carrier ball cap
6. Add unnecessary origin story and cheesy plot elements never seen in the original like the Holiday Cheermeister and a outdoor lighting showdown, Who-style
7. Bake until thickened–ready to serve at a run time of 104 minutes
8. Serve while hot and cheesy—ignore cries of “You’re stealing my childhood!” from disgruntled fans and assorted bellyaching from critics.

Now you’ve got a hot and creamy mess of cinematic drivel fresh out of the sump-pump that is Hollywood, and they call it How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Nothing says Christmas like “Gigantic Knockoff!”

Or, of course, nothing also says Christmas like our How the Grinch Stole Christmas movie trivia. That works too!

Popularity: 5% [?]