Everybody remember when I told you about Tim Burton planning a live-action version of Alice in Wonderland? Yeah, we all had high hopes for that one, didn’t we? Some of that old Burton dark freakiness running through a story that really called for it? Well, all was well in Burton town until we found out a horrifying piece of news. From the good folks at Horror-movies.ca, a bit of rumor control.

Guess Who’s Gunning For Wonderland?

There was an issue no one was quite sure on: who was going to play Alice in the Burton flick? No sooner did names get tossed around when one made itself perfectly clear, and pretty much stopped all debate.

What actress could derail a casting project so thoroughly? Who could make gossip all by her onesies?

Why…none other than…

Lindsey Lohan.

And With That News, I Had A Tiny Embolism.

Does that concept just blow your mind, or what? Lindsey Lohan. As Alice. In a really sad, strange sort of way, it’s perfect. I mean, come on–what other actress can you name who probably has more and more detailed hallucinations on her typical Tuesday morning commute than Lewis Carroll himself had in his entire career? Cats appearing out of nowhere and vanishing, leaving only their grin behind…hookah smoking caterpillars…decapitation…Lindsey would probably tell us that the caterpillar owes her twenty bucks and demand to know where the cat hid her coke!

Whether or not Lohan will land the Alice role remains to be seen–I’m kind of hoping it doesn’t happen, but even if it does there’s still Sarah Michelle Gellar in the American McGee version to consider–but until then, catch up with Lindsey’s career with Mean Girls trivia on Kwanzoo!

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