From the Oh God, Why Can’t I Stop Sobbing? department comes the single sleaziest money grab concept I’ve seen in weeks, a Saw game.

Yeah, you heard me. A Saw. GAME. Jigsaw wants you to play a game, and it’s coming to you from newcomer Brash Entertainment, whose web site is pretty downright scary. Check out the copy!

“Brash is a new video game company laser-focused on becoming the leading publisher of high-quality theatrical based games.”

First off, the next “high-quality theatrical based game” I see will be the first. It’s not like the pool’s that big; I mean, come on–what’s the current high water mark for a movie-to-game translation, Monster House? Beowulf? Stop me when I hit one that doesn’t suck sour frog ass. And secondly, if you ever have to tell people you’re “laser-focused” on anything, you need to take a deep breath and go sit in the Pretentious Time-Out Corner for like twenty minutes. Something is seriously wrong there.

But barring all of that, the Saw game will be set in the Saw universe, and will allegedly be a kind of mini-sequel, almost Saw V I/II, or to use the movie’s numerical system Saw Two Fingers in a V Shape, One Finger, A Thumb as a Horizontal Stroke and Two Fingers.

It is also slated to be released concurrently with Saw V, this year, which pretty much kills off all those rumors that said there would be no Saw this year.

I want to care, truly I do, but frankly, I’m so sick and tired of Saw that it scares even me. It stopped making sense after the second movie and stopped being anything less than a cash-grab after the third. Truly, Lions Gate is out to milk a franchise like no tomorrow.

And if you want to find out just how much you know about the big new horror franchise in town, head on over to Kwanzoo and play; oh yes, there will be Saw trivia.

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