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Justin Long Gets Whipped

So, Justin Long. Until about a year ago, I knew him only as “that kid from the Apple commercials.” And there’s no question about it - he was definitely the Mac to that frumpy guy’s PC. But I actually knew him long before that. Remember that rosy-cheeked kid from Galaxy Quest who switches communicators with Tim Allen? Yep, that was him - from back when spiked hair was cool. I saw about 20 total minutes of Live Free or Die Hard, because I was very tired and snuggled up in bed, but I remember pointing out that it was “that kid from the Apple commercials.” And indeed, it was.

Justin Long gets around. At thirty, he still exudes the college-kid appeal that gets him the roles he likes. But rumor has it that things aren’t going so well for him at the moment; Drew Barrymore has given him his “Dear John.”

That’s right, the two crazy kids have split. And I, for one, am heartbroken. Actually I wouldn’t care, except for this amusing article from E! Online that reports Drew “whipped him good.”

It’s a pun, you see, because Drew’s currently working on her directorial debut. It’s a little film called Whip It, which is about roller derby and stars Ellen Page. Roller derby, an underappreciated sport in which women wearing skates and short skirts try to beat the living daylights out of each other, doesn’t have a huge following. If it weren’t for the guaranteed hipster audience from the casting of Ellen, I might be worried that Whip It would have trouble finding its audience.

But back to Justin. Apparently, he had a role in Whip It that he is now refusing to complete.

“He couldn’t stand working with her and not being with her,” the Long insider says. “He’s too upset.”

Adds our source: “She dumped him. She was hot and cold. One minute she was in love with him and the next she wanted to break up with him.

“He is so distraught over the split that he dropped out of the movie.”

I’m tempted to make fun of him, but if I had just broken up with someone I wouldn’t even want to be in the same state with them. Give the man some time to recover from the influence of Drew Barrymore and roller derby. It’s the least we can do for our Mac.

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  1. August 3rd, 2008 at 14:32 | #1

    I can only think of him as the kid from Dodgeball, myself.

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