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“Kill Bill Vol. 1″ and “Kill Bill Vol. 2″: Like a Frosted Mini-Wheat Gone Wrong

Let’s Sit Down to a Brimmin’ Bowl of Frosted Tarantino-Wheats!

I’m spectacularly confused by “Kill Bill: Vol. 1″ and “Kill Bill: Vol. 2″. I wish I could tell just exactly what genre Tarantino was going for with it–like a Frosted Mini-Wheat gone horribly awry. There’s too much action to be a drama and way too much drama to be an action film.

Quentin Tarantino

The Action Fan in me hates all the constant chatting!

Perhaps the biggest problem with Tarantino’s work as it relates to action is that he’ll take huge passages of time talking and talking. We’re all familiar with Pulp Fiction where Jules and Vincent spent maybe three whole minutes yammering back and forth about the metric system and how it applies to fast food. Here our lovely Beatrix stares at her foot and attempts to will herself to do what normally takes years of physical therapy to do in a matter of minutes. There are lots and lots of chatter that do little to advance the plot and, worse yet, only occasionally makes sense. Even the ending is a horrible cheat; suddenly Kiddo can launch this insanely horrible attack and Bill’s el splatto all across the patio?

But The Drama Buff in me is repulsed by the sheer volume of blood!

Tarantino’s work then forcibly evicts itself from being classified as drama because serious dramas never have a Red Cross Drive’s worth of blood effects bursting out of them like some kind of strange overripe fruit. Check out that ridiculous and horrendously pretentious anime segment Tarantino brought in to explain the origin story of O-Ren Ishii.

So now neither one of my movie sides is satisfied!

Either volume of “Kill Bill” has more chatting going on than a special three-day-long installment of “The View” and more blood than a six-day slasher marathon. Tarantino winds up proving the old adage correct about a jack of all trades being master of none.

At least some parts of it were clear. So all you social trivia buffs can see how much of the clarity leaked into your collective brain pans by playing our Kill Bill Vol. 1 social trivia and Kill Bill Vol 2. social trivia. And if you happen to be a Tarantino fan, try our Quentin Tarantino social trivia.

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