The City of Malibu, in a move that proves  they’re willing to promote the inconveniencing of a handful of stars over the First Amendment, is currently at work modifying city laws to ban photographers from beaches.

Increasingly belligerent celebrities being photographed on the beaches of Malibu–like Matthew McConaughey, whose surfer buddies recently tossed a photographer (I will NOT use the term paparazzi–that’s an insult to journalists, which is what these people are)  into the ocean before beating the hell out of him, and Colin Ferrell, who was recently snapped on the beach with his son and pregnant friend Minnie Driver who decided that this was just too much indignity to stomach and thus smacked up the photographer–are leading the City of Malibu to consider an ordinance against journalists.

Apparently, Malibu hates journalism.  One local was even quoted as saying:

“It’s getting out of hand. Suddenly you spot a celebrity and then there’s a swarm of photographers. Malibu people are sick of it.”

Which is the single stupidest thing I’ve heard today and I read an interview with Lindsay Lohan just an hour ago. 

The laws themselves are patently unnecessary–any kind of ACTUAL public health and safety issue is already covered.  Photographers blocking a store entrance?  Loitering.  Blocking a car trying to leave?  Trespassing in a parking lot.  Physically restraining a celebrity to photograph them?  Battery / assault, depending.  Further laws are patently unnecessary.  Does the flash of the camera HURT poor celebrity’s tender skin?  Awww…let me play my tiny violin for your sad, sad fate.  “nother words, kids, I don’t give a long walk off a short pier what the celebrities think about this.  Let me make it real clear so even morons as brain-damaged as celebrities can understand, as monosyllabically as possible.

YOU. ARE. IN. PUBLIC. 

WE. CAN. TAKE. YOUR. PICTURE. IF. YOU. ARE. IN. PUBLIC.

The mechanics of such an ordinance are ludicrous at best–is Malibu willing to pay to have armed law enforcement officials standing by to intercept cameras at every beach?  Expect your property taxes to go through the roof, Malibu residents!  And even if you DO, what will stop the photographers from using longer-range lenses and working away from their targets?  Absolutely nothing–the only reason they’re not doing it now is because they don’t have to! 

And they shouldn’t have to.  The First Amendment applies to ALL journalism, whether it be the New York Times covering the Presidential primaries or TMZ showing shots of Britney Spears’ newest drunken escapade.  It even applies to poor little bloggers like me, who can say freely that Malibu looks to be well on its way to becoming a police state if it keeps this nonsense up. 

Oh, sure, celebrity gossip is easily among the lowest forms of journalism.  I think we can all agree on that–even I can and I’m a practicing entertainment journalist–but if we allow ourselves to say that any branch of the fourth estate is insufficiently useful to be protected, then it’s only a matter of time before ALL journalism is insufficiently useful. 

If we start today and say that you can’t take pictures of celebrities on a beach, then how long before you can’t take pictures of a married state governor who’s in the middle of having sex with a prostitute *cough*elliotspitzer*cough*?  How long before you can’t take a picture of a President who just ordered the opposition party’s headquarters wiretapped *cough*watergate*cough* or a Vice-President who’s just broken a CIA agent’s cover and possibly cost her her life *cough*dickcheney*cough*?

How long before all journalism is just a series of tame presses churning out tame press releases?

Tags: entertainment, pop culture, recreation

Popularity: 7% [?]

Categories: Movie stories //