Every movie website has already announced Disney’s complete animated lineup through 2012. It’s an easy new story - it’s informative, it fills up space, and there’s very little for the writer to add. From the upcoming WALL*E to the unheard-of King of the Elves, we’re now familiar with every single feature that Disney will release for the next four years.

And buried amongst them, one for every year, is a series of four direct-to-video Tinkerbell movies.

Yes, Tinkerbell movies. I don’t know what Disney executive took time out of a grueling brainstorm session to announce, “what we need is more direct-to-video features starring a nonverbal character from an animated film that came out in 1953.” But someone did, and now we have enough Tinkerbell magic to keep young girls screaming at checkout counters until 2012. Tinkerbell and her fairies are the new Disney princesses - if you don’t buy the DVDs and all associated toys, storybooks, et cetera for your daughters, you are officially A Bad Parent. And if you don’t think that’s fair, try explaining it to a child in the midst of a tantrum.

From the Disney press release:

TINKER BELL (Disney DVD and Blu-ray Release Date: October 28th, 2008)
DisneyToon Studios
Director: Bradley Raymond
Producer: Jeannine Roussel

Enter the magical world of fairies and meet the enchanting creatures of Pixie Hollow, who “nurture nature” and bring about the change of the seasons. Changing the colors of the leaves, moving a sunbeam to melt snow, waking animals from their winter slumber, or giving a patch of sproutlings a sprinkle of water are all within the realm of these seasonal specialists. Tinker Bell thinks her fairy talent as a “tinker” isn’t as special or important as the other fairies’ talents. But when Tink tries to change who she is, she creates nothing but disaster! With encouragement from her friends Rosetta, Silvermist, Fawn and Iridessa, Tink learns the key to solving her problems lies in her unique tinker abilities…and discovers that when she’s true to herself, magical things can happen.

TINKER BELL NORTH OF NEVER LAND - working title (Disney DVD and Blu-ray Release Date: 2009)
DisneyToon Studios
Director: Klay Hall
Producer: Sean Lurie

In autumn, Tinker Bell is entrusted with crafting a great treasure that can rejuvenate the Pixie Dust Tree. But when her friend Terence offers to help, Tink’s temper and stubbornness get the better of her, shattering both her creation and her friendship with Terence. To set things right again, she must embark on a journey far North of Never Land… and along the way, she will discover an even greater treasure.

TINKER BELL A MIDSUMMER STORM - working title (Disney DVD and Blu-ray Release Date: 2010)
DisneyToon Studios
Director: Carolyn Gair
Producer: Margot Pipkin

After being confronted by her antagonist Vidia, an irritated Tinker Bell retaliates by taking a photograph of Vidia…without considering the consequences. Now, the two must set aside their differences and cooperate to prevent evidence of the existence of fairies from falling into human hands.

TINKER BELL A WINTER STORY - working title (Disney DVD and Blu-ray Release Date: 2011)
DisneyToon Studios
Producer: Sean Lurie

The fourth, as-yet-untold story of Tinker Bell and her fairy friends will take place in winter, completing the cycle of the seasons.

Imagine that - A PHOTOGRAPH.

Now, I know Disney is just being smart by marketing to kids who don’t know the difference between the classic Peter Pan and a direct-to-video movie about fairies “nurturing nature.” But it doesn’t seem fair to the parents who must spend their hard-earned money on something their kids will only enjoy for a month or two, and later look back on in utter disgust - instead of something they can enjoy for years to come.

If you, too, are yearning for a return to the classics, Kwanzoo’s Disney trivia is here for you.

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