This…this is just great news, right here. The single biggest horror bomb on the face of the earth, Fear Itself, has been delayed. Pushed back one week to a premiere date of Thursday, June 5 on NBC, this move shouldn’t really come as a surprise.

I’m on record several times: I think this show is a gargantuan mistake that will hemorrhage cash, frighten small children (only), and bruise fruit. We’re doomed. It rained cheese last night…the Black Squirrel has been seen as far afield as Luton…dogs and cats, living together…real “end of the world” type stuff.

But seriously, though. I’m convinced that this is a terrible, terrible idea that can’t possibly succeed. Television networks are completely without the benefit of testicles, and as such, will not allow anything even vaguely objectionable to hit the airwaves; especially with the freaking FCC screaming about decency at virtually every turn, as it has been of late.

With any kind of graphic content eliminated, the scripts would have to be some kind of masterwork to be scary. And I’m not convinced anyone’s up to the challenge of making truly scary content rated somewhere around a PG. If it can, then why hasn’t it?

Okay, so we’ll have to wait to be sure, but the odds are long. So long they make a third term for George W. seem almost likely by comparison. And until we can find out just how bad this is going to suck, try the horror movie trivia on Kwanzoo.

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