Every single legendary and big-budget horror movie of the past fifty years has either been remade, or is going to be. If it had the slightest potential for monkeymaking brand recognition, the execs were on it like white on rice. But with Halloween, Friday the 13th, House of Wax, and Nightmare on Elm Street crossed off their lists, where will the studios turn next?

Why, B-movies, of course. This year will see a new version of 1980’s Prom Night, one of the films that helped crown Jamie Lee Curtis as Scream Queen. But the people want more - so they’ll get it.

Say hello to My Bloody Valentine. Deep from the discount bins at Wal*Mart, it shall rise again to become a 2008 horror sensation…IN 3-D.

Yes, 3-D. The surest sign of directorial desperation. It’s a gimmick designed to distract people from any number of offenses, and it’s never justified. But the studio decided it would be worth a shot, and who are we, the humble buying public, to protest?

(As a side note, Quentin Tarantino calls the original his favorite slasher film. Coming from the man who has lauded Manos: The Hands of Fate, that’s a very dubious compliment indeed.)

My Bloody Valentine has just begun filming, and is expected to have a 2009 release. February 14th perhaps? Until then, play the vast amounts of horror movie trivia on Kwanzoo.

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