Repo! The Genetic Opera is one of the biggest pieces of movie vaporware I’ve seen in some time. It’s here! It’s gone! There’s news! There’s nothing! And now, there’s a web site! It’s up! It’s live!

The only problem, of course, is that Repo! The Genetic Opera isn’t the only thing with a web site. Every fourteen year old in North America has a web site.

And I’m not the only one thinking that this sucker’s gonna tank harder at the box office than the Titanic with concrete outriggers—the film’s star, Bill Moseley, has been hitting the promotion trail hard and fast, saying in no uncertain terms that a “wide release” for Repo! The Genetic Opera is about as likely as Saw V making sense. Which is the down side to the whole thing: a theatrical release that doesn’t get a wide release is pretty much guaranteed to tank. Why? Sheer numbers, baby! If it’s not playing on half the screens out there, then no matter how full each theatre gets, it’ll still only make a fraction of what a full release will make. Just because it’s only available on a fraction of the screens!

Okay, so I’m starting to think that Repo! The Genetic Opera just might be good. Musical horror movies are few and far between—Sweeney Todd was the last one I’d seen in a long time. It might have been worth a shot. But if Saw-flogger Bousman can’t pull this one out, it’s likely his career’s gonna be deader than Jigsaw.

And to celebrate the high-water mark in Bousman’s career, try the Saw trivia on Kwanzoo.

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