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No question about it - Michael Bay is not a good filmmaker. From Armageddon to Pearl Harbor to Transformers, he’s pretty much committed himself to moderately successful brainless big-budget action movies. But you have to give him credit for this: at least he’s not Uwe Boll.

Uwe (which, I’m told, is pronounced “oo-vay”) is a trained boxer and occasional filmmaker, whose work is, by all accounts, offensively bad. Pretty much everybody on the internet has heard of him, partially thanks to the negative publicity generated by the massive comedy website Something Awful. The founder of this site, Richard Kyanka, was challenged to a boxing match by Boll after posting negative reviews of his films. Boll successfully beat him down, proving once and for all that he is a much better boxer than filmmaker.

Boll makes the news at least once a week with some new insane statement or claim, and his latest hijinks included a highly publicized denouncement of Michael Bay and his works. Naturally enough, the confrontation between the two filmmakers ended in Boll challenging Bay to a boxing match. He accepted… or so Boll said. Bay denies having done so. I’m sure that somehow, inside Boll’s blighted brain, this all makes sense.

Oh, and just to make things even more interesting, Boll is also currently suing Billy Zane, who appeared in his mega-flop Bloodrayne. He claims that somehow, Zane is responsible for the poor distribution of the film, which led to its making a pathetic $4,000. (I saw a Special Edition DVD at Wal-Mart the other day, which I believe must be sold exclusively to sheltered gamers who have never heard of Boll, and children.) I can’t wait to see how this one turns out.

Shine on, you crazy diamond.

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