I don’t know why Michael Bay hates me so much. Maybe it’s because I call him a talentless hack fit only to put special effects on a screen as opposed to actual movies, but he hates me. I can tell. I only have to read news about his upcoming cinematic misery that is the Friday the 13th remake—coming out February 13th, 2009 for all of you who don’t yet know—to make that much perfectly clear.

Not only is Jason currently slated to be played by some kind of inbred cannibal wackjob from the Hills Have Eyes remake—a crime against filmgoers everywhere—but the further cast lists have also been updated.

Now included in this parade of woe is Danielle Panabaker, Aaron Yoo, Travis Van Winkle…and Willa Ford. These wreckages in the making don’t exactly have much in the way of careers—Aaron Yoo was Senor Quesas himself from Disturbia and Danielle Panabaker and Travis Van Winkle are BOTH former bit-players on Malcolm in the Middle. Willa Ford, meanwhile, was a one-hit wonder back in the earlier part of this decade whose biggest film role was playing, surprise surprise, Anna Nicole Smith.

I tell you, Michael Bay hates me.

And to stick with the original and ultimately best, try the Friday the 13th trivia on Kwanzoo.

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