So I’m out here cheerily laughing and pointing in derision as reflection on the latest Oscar snoozefest shows that it was one of the worst rated iterations of the awards ceremony to date.

There are quite possibly a lot of reasons behind this–people don’t want to watch celebrities congratulate themselves for hours on end, people are getting sick of “who are you wearing?” when they can barely afford a roof over their head, people have discovered the incredible entertainment value in watching paint dry (at least as it compares to the Oscars–I’d sooner watch a back-to-back block of Animal Planet’s Puppy Bowl than that drivel, and I can only take ten minutes of the Puppy Bowl at a sitting.) but I have another possible explanation.

The snubbing of horror fans.

Let’s face it, folks…horror buffs have been persona non grata at the Oscars for decades. The last horror flick to even get a nod from the pompous jackasses behind the buff statuettes was Pan’s Labyrinth and that was two years ago and only barely horror.

Granted, most horror titles are barely worthy of being spit upon in the event they spontaneously combust, but surely there are a couple innovative masterworks that can find their way into the running! It’s an honor just to be nominated, even, and frankly, I think the Oscars would get a lot farther if they weren’t so damned stuck-up about it all and instead stooped down to where the rest of us are waiting.

This will probably never happen, of course…and until the Oscars become more accessible to the regular folks out there that aren’t watching, I look for them to steadily collapse until, someday, we don’t see Oscar on TV any more.

And that’ll come as something of a relief to me.

But no matter what happens to the Oscars, there will always be room for Oscar trivia, especially on Kwanzoo.

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Categories: Movie stories //