Apparently, they’ve got a writer for the Planet of the Apes prequel, a move that has me somewhat baffled.

They’ll be bringing in Scott Frank, formerly of Minority Report, to handle the scripting duties on that one, suggesting that if nothing else the script should turn out solidly enough.  But that’s not where my concern is–my concern is in the existence of this movie in the first place.

Don’t even get me started on the projected title, which for now is for some reason called Caesar, it’s why this movie is even here at all that gives me the problem.  If you’ve seen the first Planet of the Apes, and by now you probably should have if you were at ALL interested, you’ll know that it ended with our human astronaut finding himself back on an earth that had been completely gorillafied, with the monkey general that he’d locked behind an absolutely impenetrable plexiglass screen of some type, General Thade, somehow becoming enshrined in what used to be the Lincoln Memorial.

Now…one would think that if they were going to do ANYTHING with this franchise in the future, they’d do a sequel so they could explain how the hell Thade, the monkey locked behind the impenetrable screen, who should’ve died of at least thirst in three days or so if not suffocation earlier, was SO DAMN INFLUENTIAL TO SOCIETY that he managed to be enshrined in the middle of downtown DC.

And come to think of it, how could they do a prequel to that remake anyway? It starts out in space, and they go back in time.  What are they going to do, show how the Charon was built?  A true prequel to the Planet of the Apes remake will have no apes at all!  Unless, of course, they’re going to go to THAT universe where the monkeys wound up in charge and show how the monkeys came to be in charge, which really doesn’t interest me quite so much as finding out how Thade managed to wind up Boss Monkey of the Universe before he died of thirst behind an impenetrable screen.

The whole affair has me concerned, folks…and I’m not looking forward to seeing how it all finally comes out.

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