It may not be the best of signs that all Hollywood really has to work with at this point is rehashings of crap that’s already been done.
And despite the fact that horror-movies.ca believes that Arena is the second coming of theatrical originality, they’re hampered by one minor fact:
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Terminator 4 canceled?? Whoa! When did that happen?! Wasn’t this sucker chugging along, with cast announcements on a regular basis and everybody and his mother saying this was going to be great? Now where does word come down that this is going to be canceled?
An unnamed crew member, already a pretty fair sign that this rumor is just that, a rumor, told UGO sometime last week that Terminator 4 was being shut down. Never mind that the film had a serious cast and a solid release date (May 22, 2008), but that was the word out of Terminator 4. Of course, it didn’t look good for this rumor when, merely two days later, Moon BloodGood was announced as cast in Terminator 4. So how can a movie be dead when they’re ADDING to the cast?
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I got this via email mere hours ago, but when I read it through I just couldn’t believe it. Apparently, Lions Gate is getting together a little something special in advance of their video rereleases of the Rambo series. Coming to four hundred thirty theatres nationwide this May 15th is none other than Rambo: First Blood. No, really. You remember, back before Sylvester Stallone needed to slam down human growth hormone just to keep his career afloat?
Even better, they’ll apply the full array of digital trickery to the print, showing it fully digitally remastered AND in high-definition. As a special added bonus, they’ll show, at the end of the film, a special alternate ending that would have changed the entire Rambo franchise, had it been shown.
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So Keanu Reeves, His Dudeship, has just blown off the entire concept of coming back for Constantine 2. This falls, for me, under the category of “I’ll Believe It When I See It”, because I’m having a seriously rough time believing that this guy’s career is so tightly packed with major roles that he’d turn down a monster paycheck like Constantine 2 would generate.
That and, let’s be honest, he actually managed to play John Constantine fairly well. I’ll emphasize fairly as the differences between the comic book John Constantine and Keanu’s version are weird and enormous. But still…the job was solidly done. So why turn your nose up at a good thing?
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So there’s word out that William Monahan, writer of The Departed among numerous others, has a new project in the works to breach sometime in 2010. Based on a true story, the plot revolves around a drug dealer who, looking at a prison sentence, figured he was going to trade up and become an undercover agent at a maximum security facility for the criminally insane. Whilst in Arkham…errr…wherever it is, our drug dealer will interrogate the Joker—um, I mean, of course, our as yet unnamed serial killer, to get him to spill the beans on just where his victims are hidden.
It sounds downright peachy, I’d say. Okay, sure…the word “derivative” applies to this sucker in spades. It’s been done before more than once—most of the old women’s prison exploitation movies had similar themes—but still, it might be a real thrill. Especially with Monahan doing the writing.
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Time to panic? Maybe, just maybe. Not only did Terminator: Salvation lose its salvation just recently to become Terminator 4, but now Paul Haggis has been called in to do a complete re-write on the Terminator 4 screenplay. Maybe somebody was listening to Liz when she said that the whole thing was so ridiculous that it was like a black hole from which neither light nor sense nor reason could escape. When you need the guy from Crash to rewrite the script to a Terminator sequel, it manages to make even less sense. Crash won Oscars. Terminator movies are lucky if they DON’T land a Razzie. Bringing in the Oscar winner to rewrite the beer movie script is like taking a sandblaster to a soup cracker. The level of overkill in bringing in Paul Haggis to rewrite the Terminator script is just astonishing. But what will it mean for the series? Will we somehow manage to see a Terminator movie on the list at the Oscars next year? If that happens, it might go a long way to restoring the cultural relevancy of the Oscars. And while we debate, there’s a whole load of James Cameron trivia on Kwanzoo to enjoy.
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We’ve had a lot of fun, o my readership, laughing at the sheer blinding hubris of Herr Doktor Uwe Boll. Despite crashing box office losses, and the loss of his entire support network, he still believes he has a functioning career.
In fact, he not only believes he has a functioning career, but he now believes himself to be a genius easily the match for Steven Spielberg. And to test his belief, he’s planning to embark on the single most idiotic mismatch on the face of the earth.
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Here’s one for the We Really Should Have Seen This Coming department—apparently J.J. Abrams and company took Spaceballs way too seriously when Yoghurt told us that merchandising is where the real money from the movie is made.
Now You Can Feed Your Sister’s Barbies To Colossus!
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Pierce Brosnan’s been a surprisingly busy guy of late—in fact, he’s so busy that he’s actually filming two different movies, back to back. And that’s a rough schedule for any actor to try and keep up. Just ask Martin Lawrence—I think that guy’s got a personal stake in every bad movie ever released.
But Anyway.
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You know, every so often, a good idea pops up that just makes me look at it in bemusement and wonder why no one else had thought of it. And the casting for the upcoming film Public Enemies, as announced by the folks at CHUD.com, is one such good idea.
Christian Bale—American Psycho Cop
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