Batman Busted–Picks Fight With Mom, Sister

Walking the celebrity beat as I do sometimes–it works out well for me because most celebrities are in movies and movies are what I write about anyway–exposes you to a whole new level of madness and lunacy you never thought possible.  And there are fewer more bizarre occurrences than what I just heard about: namely, Tuesday’s arrest of the Dark Knight himself–Christian Bale–on assault charges for going American Psycho on his sixty-one-year-old mother and his forty-year-old sister.

Apparently, mom and sis came out to see Bale just ahead of the United Kingdom premiere of The Dark Knight at his hotel, the Dorchester, when he performed the alleged apparent “lashing out”.  Some bloggers described Bale’s recent earlier appearances in Britain as “grouchy”, which is possible.

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Selma Blair Would Rather You Not Have a Career, Thanks.

I’ve heard a lot of preposterous nonsense spewed forth from the mouths of celebrities.  This might explain why, despite my sheer genius and conversational skill, I am not yet one myself.  Only a celebrity can be so relentlessly irrational as to hawk the need for reducing one’s carbon footprint from the depths of a private jet during an era of crippling job losses and mortgage default.

And only a celebrity like Hellboy’s Selma Blair can be so irrational as to say this:

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Office Drone As Action Hero–The Continuum Carries On

It’s a strange new progression in action movies, really it is…after just getting done watching “Wanted”, I started to see a continuum.  Now, bear with me a second, because the first two parts actually came out in the same year, and the release dates and the actual start of progression dates could easily put one before the other, but we’re still going to be able to work with it.

First, we had Office Space, a movie that featured an office drone in a going-nowhere sort of life that decides he’s going to take his company for fat piles of loot via a computer virus, much like Superman III.

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The Knight is Darkest Just Before the Dawn

Since the experience of watching a movie and the movie itself are such different things, I have separated my review of The Dark Knight from this, a collection of thoughts on the night itself. Just read the review if you find your eyes glazing over.

The last time I attended a midnight opening, it was a specially arranged showing of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe for a bunch of well-behaved, Christian homeschoolers. Sure, we whooped and hollered a little like any excited crowd, but if one asks oneself what Jesus would do in a movie theater, one would be forced to conclude that he would NOT disrupt the watching of the film. And we were all good little WWJD disciples that night.

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Movie Review: The Dark Knight

I’d like to imagine that most of the patrons who left the movie theater at 2:45 in the morning were thinking the same thing I was. And that is: what’s next?

It’s hard to talk about The Dark Knight, and the merits therein, without spoiling it. But with The Joker likely a retired character for at least a few movies, where is Christopher Nolan going to take Batman next? There is a whole slew of villians to choose from, but many of them will be difficult to shoehorn into this new, darker Gotham. So, what next?

The Dark Knight leaves Batman in a precarious place; having discovered his purpose to Gotham, and to the world, he realizes that he will never be anything but a vigilante - and sometimes, vigilantes aren’t quite appreciated for what they do.

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YouTube–Victim of Its Own Success

When I was bombing around on the various Bloody-Disgusting blogs, looking for something to write about for the day’s blogging, I was amazed to stumble on something not so horror related.

This, of course, has most of your jaws dropping too–you mean he’s gonna talk about something that’s NOT about horror?, you’re likely saying in possibly mock shock–but what really got me was the title. [Read more →]

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Journey to the Center of Mediocrity

I don’t know what it is about Jules Verne that inspires mediocrity. There was never been a really good movie based on his work, at least not that I’ve been aware of. This is particularly painful for me, because I went through a stage in early adolescence where Around the World in 80 Days was the best. thing. ever. I would have given almost anything to have a decent film version of it, but the best one was The Three Stooges’ Around the World in a Daze. Seriously.

There was one with Pierce Brosnan, which was pretty abysmal, and that parody with Jackie Chan, but not a single straight adaptation - or one without a hot air balloon, which WAS NOT IN THE BOOK. Why a hot air balloon? Where did it come from?

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How Do I Know Hellboy 2 Might Be More Than We Think? Read On.

So while I was having Fourth of July dinner with all the local family assembled, I found out a rather interesting factoid.

My dad wanted to see Hellboy 2: The Golden Army.

Now, this by itself is somewhat unusual in that my dad is a sixtyish homebody who’d sooner stay home than do just about anything on Earth including take a trip to the Land of Free Gold, but it’s further augmented by the fact that he doesn’t watch very many movies.  Which means he’s pretty much a blank slate when it comes to film and doesn’t have much of a basis of comparison.

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…A Robin Gets His Wings

Is there room for Robin in Christopher Nolan’s Gotham?

We now have two films that are Robin-less. Mercifully, some would say. Batman Begins, as an origin story, had no room for a character who was introduced after Bruce began his night job. And The Dark Knight, as its title indicates, takes itself quite seriously. No mincing gymnasts in green manties, thanks!

This has been the overwhelming sentiment amongst many fans since the Joel Schumacher disaster Batman & Robin. Chris O’Donnell as The Boy Wonder didn’t do anything to lend credibility to the character, and so it goes.

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Quentin Tarantino Continues Quest To Never Make Original Movies Again. Ever.

Is it just me, or is every chunk of cinematic refuse that comes pouring out of Quentin Tarantino obligated like a scientific LAW to be a knockoff of something he saw back in the seventies?

Oh, sure, some of it’s downright entertaining–I was terribly fond of the Kill Bill franchise and the first time I saw Pulp Fiction I absolutely loved it.  Though it didn’t stand up to repeated viewings very well, but still.  Seriously, it’s like the guy can’t do anything that hasn’t already kinda sorta been done!

And I even have PROOF!  He’s remaking Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!.

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