In one of the most pointless industry moves in recent memory, the people behind The Fast and the Furious series have decided to make a little change to their formula. Instead of being called The Fast and the Furious 4, the latest installment will just be called Fast and Furious.
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Sometimes, writing this, I feel like a total ninny. I just spent a post shrieking at Disney–not without good reason, of course–for their sequel mania and nigh-total lack of originality when I find out that the great Mouse Empire has a new title in mind.
Okay, it’s not totally new but it’s definitely new for them. Namely, Prince of Persia.
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If Sony Pictures Entertainment has its way, this will likely be the last Presidential election we ever see as 2012 is going to be the date the world comes to a screaming, horrible end. Roland Emmerich has already been attached to direct, and Sony has committed to green light the film, slated to be produced starting in late summer / early fall for a summer 2009 release. The budget is already expected to hit two hundred million dollars, which means there will a whole lot of special effects and such in what is described as an “ensemble disaster epic akin to The Day After Tomorrow”.
So brace yourself, because we’ll get yet another popcorn chewing, huge, loud disaster epic just in time for the hottest time of the year. Don’t expect any quality acting or writing, but it should at least be a survivable two-star sort of affair. You know, exactly the kind of thing you want to watch during a brain-boiling heat wave when air conditioning and a cold Coke or Pepsi is the first thing on your mind rather than plots that make sense or acting that isn’t just chewing on scenery.
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British director Neil Marshall recently gained notoriety in both the U.S. and his homeland for 2005’s The Descent. With a cast of unknowns and an elaborate series of sets, he was able to create a unique and chilling horror film. Now, he’s at it again - with a film that looks awfully familiar.
A casual glance at the trailer for Marshall’s upcoming Doomsday might give you the impression that someone’s remaking Escape From New York. And, in a way, he is - Marshall freely admits that the heroine, played by Rhona Mitra, is based on Snake Plissken.
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Oh, Street Kings. You’ve been through more identity changes than any movie should, what with shifting hands from Spike Lee to Oliver Stone to David Ayer. You’ve even got a new name - The Night Watchman was deemed too similar to Zack Snyder’s Watchmen, and so now you are Street Kings. You poor thing.
It’s got to be confusing enough, given the cast that you’re stuck with. Keanu Reeves? Haven’t people learned by now not to cast him in movies? Ever? If he’d only go back to managing that pasta shop, I don’t think any of us would miss him. Forest Whitaker is always a good choice, of course, as well as the talented and versatile Hugh Laurie who became known to American audiences as the bitter and brilliant Dr. House.
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Okay, I have to admit that sometimes, I like the thought of some remakes. Sometimes a remake can be as good as its original—take for example the Night of the Living Dead 1990 theatrical re-release. Some die hards may call it heresy, but I think it was a very well done remake. It altered very little of its predecessor’s direction and instead used modernized (and appreciably better!) special effects work to give the overall a nice and, let’s face it, much-needed facelift. It is not superior to its predecessor nor did it try to be. It was simply a worthy tribute to a ground-breaking original.
Which is why I find myself hopeful that the remake to Death Race (coming out on the order of soon) will prove to be a worthy tribute to a ground-breaking original.
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James Bond, Captain Kirk, Tony Stark…I’ve already covered most of the talked-about 2008 releases, but there’s a lot of news and hype I’m excited to share. So I’ll condense it here, for your reading pleasure:
Bond 22
As you’ve no doubt heard, we have a title: Quantum of Solace. It’s taken straight from an Ian Fleming short story, and it even has the two Os necessary to create an awesome logo. It’s a bit odd-sounding, sure, but as a Fleming fan I’m very pleased with the choice. I do wonder if they’ll include any explanation of the title and its meaning. In the short story, it refers to the feeling of comfort one derives from trusting that another person will always behave in a human way towards you. This could certainly be made to tie into the story, but they might avoid the topic entirely.
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Have you ever stabbed a man in the face with a carrot?
Have you ever wanted to stab a man in the face with a carrot?
Have you ever thought “hey, it would be unbelievably awesome if Clive Owen stabbed a man in the face with a carrot, instantly killing him?”
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Here’s one for the Karma’s A Bitch department—recently declared druggie Sylvester Stallone will in fact not be stepping in to take on the role of the Terminator in the upcoming Terminator 4. He does claim that he would never do the job, calling it “Arnold’s territory” and he would never “insult his friend by encroaching on it”.
Come With Him If You Want To Live? I’ll Take My Chances, Thanks.
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I love—LOVE!—how aging action heroes can exist in their own little world. A little world where stuff they did in the eighties is suddenly vital and relevant again, and where human growth hormone is definitely not illegal!
This is exactly the case that poor, poor Sylvester Stallone just walked into. It seems he, like most of professional baseball and unlike the federal government, thinks that human growth hormone, or HGH, will be in ten years in over the counter common use around the United States. And thus, it should be usable right now despite the clear and present problem that every drop of it is illegal to possess sans prescription.
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