Chances are most of us have a reason to be thankful on Thanksgiving, if for no other reason than this is the day most people actually consciously THINK about being thankful for the things in their lives.
And I’ll freely admit that this is not one of the easiest years to be thankful. With President Bullwinkle (I got that out of a local newspaper and frankly, I love it) still in charge for another six weeks or so, two wars going on at once (thanks to President Bullwinkle), the economy in a slow-death collapse so bad it’s even killing direct to video horror movies for a while (again, thanks to President Bullwinkle), with hurricanes, and terrorists, and job loss, and the bleakest EVER Christmas shopping season before us, it’s not hard to look at the world and let that turkey taste like ashes in your mouth.
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As someone who got married about a month ago, I am highly qualified to comment on other people’s weddings. And here’s the thing about weddings: they are like 90% pageantry, 10% actual getting married. Even though the entire point is to get married, people will criticize you and call you a social failure if you 
don’t invite 100 of your closest friends and relatives to watch you put your private feelings on display.
I guess my point is, weddings are 90% unnecessary, but we continue to participate in it because it validates our need to be paparazzi’d for a day. And weddings, it turns out, are exploitative enough without actually being 100% fake.
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Kwanzoo: We’re here with Felicia Day of The Guild. Could you tell our readers a little bit about yourself to begin with?
Felicia Day: Well, I’m an actor and a writer, I’ve worked on many television shows and movies as an actor, but lately I’ve become known for the work I’ve done on the web, including acting in Joss Whedon’s “Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog” and creating a web show called “The Guild”.
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TMZ has “reported” that Britney Spears doesn’t like her dad managing her affairs. This is almost as surprising as the fact that TMZ has, once again, posted a story without any reference to a source or where they heard it. 
Not that I doubt it - this is one of those things you can pretty much say without anyone questioning it.
We’re told Britney has been fighting with her dad quite often and one of the sore subjects is the dreaded Adnan. Britney wants to see him, but Jamie absolutely refuses. She is still in touch with her douchy ex, but they haven’t spent time together — even though Brit has been asking to see Adnan for months.
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So apparently Mr. This! Is! Spartaaaaa! managed to get himself into a fight with paparazzi last month, and despite the fact that he put said paparazzo in the hospital, the law is apparently willing to bend for Gerard Butler, and offer him an out.
He’s been ordered to attend an “informal hearing” at the city attorney’s office in Los Angeles, with the intent of “resolving the issue without a messy court case”.
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No one ever knows quite what to think when The Sun reports something. Like many of Britain’s popular newspapers, it’s a tabloid - but it’s not completely made up, like the Weekly World News. It’s more like the 
National Enquirer mixed with Star. Which is to say, some of the things they publish are substantiated, others are complete fabrications, and some actually turn out to be true.
Yesterday, The Sun reported that Michael Jackson had converted to Islam. And changed his name to Mikaeel. Read more…
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If you’ll excuse me, I need to rant for a little bit.
So, Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz had a baby. I’d forgotten they were married, probably because Ashlee Simpson looks like she’s about 13. For that matter, so does Pete Wentz. It turns out they’re both older than I 
am, but given that she obviously still shops in the Juniors section, I think she deserves to be treated like a teenager. If only there was some way to determine a person’s “Emotional Age” definitively enough to use it for driver’s licenses and such. Not that it would prevent Ashlee and Pete from having kids, I’m just saying it would be good for society.
What might have a more direct effect on this case is not allowing people - especially celebrities - to give their kids stupid names. Lest you imagine that my title is a joke, sadly, it’s not. Bronx Mowgli Wentz. For real. BMW.
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(That weird purple lightning hit my Internet lines again this morning, and sure enough, there was fresh mail in my inbox from the Office of the High Gofer.)
To The Minions of The Magnificent Galactic Overlord Xenu At Columbia Pictures on Prison Planet Euarth:
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Back in May, a new highly exclusive club called the Crown Bar opened in Hollywood. Since then, it’s gained quite a reputation for turning away the type of clientele that probably shouldn’t be turned away from anywhere - paparazzi have captured one particular doorman turning away some recognizable faces, 
including, most recently, Seth MacFarlane.
Currently the highest-paid T.V. producer in the business, Seth was on his way to enjoy some of the perks that come with being filthy rich - until the doorman turned him away. Luckily, TMZ’s ever-vigilant camerafolk were there to catch the moment, and Seth turned to them in frustration and struck up a conversation. Soon they began egging him on to repeat “giggity giggity,” the catchphrase of Glenn Quagmire, one of the many “Family Guy” characters that he voices. When Seth finally obliged, something seemed to click with the doorman - and he invited the multi-millionaire into the club.
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This is one of those pictures that needs no introduction.
(Yes, that is Michael Phelps in the hat.)
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