Batman Busted–Picks Fight With Mom, Sister

Walking the celebrity beat as I do sometimes–it works out well for me because most celebrities are in movies and movies are what I write about anyway–exposes you to a whole new level of madness and lunacy you never thought possible.  And there are fewer more bizarre occurrences than what I just heard about: namely, Tuesday’s arrest of the Dark Knight himself–Christian Bale–on assault charges for going American Psycho on his sixty-one-year-old mother and his forty-year-old sister.

Apparently, mom and sis came out to see Bale just ahead of the United Kingdom premiere of The Dark Knight at his hotel, the Dorchester, when he performed the alleged apparent “lashing out”.  Some bloggers described Bale’s recent earlier appearances in Britain as “grouchy”, which is possible.

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Mamma Mia - Does It Show Again? My My.

Just how much I’ve missed you!

Mamma Mia! is a sing-along movie. So much so that I expected to see lyrics at the bottom of the screen, with a bouncing beach ball keeping tempo. Even if all you know is the title song and “Dancing Queen,” like me, you will find yourself tapping your foot and smiling through many of the musical numbers.

As a whole, Mamma Mia! doesn’t really work. It’s a ridiculous melo-dramedy that befits the stage, perhaps, but you can’t expect too much of it. It’s better to look at it in bits and pieces, so I’ll do it that service.

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Selma Blair Would Rather You Not Have a Career, Thanks.

I’ve heard a lot of preposterous nonsense spewed forth from the mouths of celebrities.  This might explain why, despite my sheer genius and conversational skill, I am not yet one myself.  Only a celebrity can be so relentlessly irrational as to hawk the need for reducing one’s carbon footprint from the depths of a private jet during an era of crippling job losses and mortgage default.

And only a celebrity like Hellboy’s Selma Blair can be so irrational as to say this:

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Tim Burton’s “Alice in Wonderland” - Who’s Alice?

Last year, the rumors first started buzzing about Tim Burton’s 3-D adaptation of Alice in Wonderland, which he would make for Disney. It’s part of a three-picture deal that will also include an adaptation of his 1984 short film, Frankenweenie.

In picking Tim Burton, the famously prudish Disney must be fully aware of the direction he will take the story. Alice in Wonderland is a story that, in our jaded times, has been found to be laden with innuendo. The video game American McGee’s Alice explores the darker side of Wonderland - and was also rumored for a film adaptation, although that seems to have been put on hold. In Lost Girls, writer Alan Moore explored the sexual undertones in three famous girl heroines: Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz, Wendy from Peter Pan, and, of course, Alice.

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Superbad–The Superbaddest?

What would you say if I told you that there was a project lurking in the depths of Hollywood, not so very long ago, that would have taken Michael Cera comedy vehicle Superbad and released it as a no-holds-barred action title with lots of gunplay and violence and beatings and explosions and everything that action film fans have come to expect from them?

What would you say if I told you that THIS was the trailer for that film?

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W.B.’s Comic Con Lineup: No Love for the Boy Who Lived?

You have to give Warner Brothers credit for at least ponying up something good for Comic Con. Lots of studios don’t even bother, assuming that all the cosplaying nerds can’t possibly matter that much in the long run. But of course, they do; that guy dressed up as Link with a cardboard sword is going to go home and blog about the OMG SO AWESOME panel, and probably do a write-up for AICN, too. He matters. They all matter.

In light of this, we now have WB’s complete lineup for Comic Con: [Read more →]

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Today, I Am Happy. Be Amazed.

Okay, okay.  Got to breathe…got to calm down.  Calm blue ocean, calm blue ocean…happy place….HAPPY PLLAAAACE….

I can’t DO it any more!  This is TOO GOOD!  Seriously, THIS IS TOO GOOD! Man, I’m punching caps unrestrainedly here–this is beyond belief!  By now you’re probably all wondering what’s got my proverbial knickers in the equally proverbial twist, and I’ll be more than happy to fill you in.

See, a few months back, a great thing happened.  We got our first George Romero zombie movie in years that had no connections to some big-bucks studio who was going to screw it up with more executive meddling than the entire Fox network.  It was given somewhat of a mixed reception, with people either loving it (like myself) or hating it (like brain-damaged troglodytes and Zac Snyder).  Okay, I’m just kidding on that last one, but still.  It’s great news to a chunk of the audience of the last one that shooting on Diary of the Dead 2 will begin in September, and a synopsis is available.  Check it out: [Read more →]

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Another Nail in the Theatre Coffin–Amazon On Demand

It’s true, it’s true, o my readership–one of the biggest online brand names and one of only a handful to survive the great dot-com bubble of the early 2000’s, Amazon, has launched the beta version of its video on demand service.

This will allow Amazon users to watch, via streaming video, any of forty thousand currently available titles.  Requiring no special software, Amazon “rents” the videos for specific fees per individual title.  Since the titles are all streaming in nature, they can’t be seen anywhere where there is no internet access, like on airplanes and such.  At least not currently–I’ve heard more that one rumor that says airlines are working on mobile wireless broadband in the cabin.  Though given the state of the airline industry these days I’m leaning toward doubting it.

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What This World Needs is More Organ-Centric Musicals

Repo! The Genetic Opera. What a title.

Trying to explain the film makes you sound every bit as schizophrenic as the new trailer, which features familiar faces like Paul Sorvino, Alexa Vega, Paris HIlton, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s Anthony Head. There’s even the sweet-voiced singer Sarah Brightman, who plays - surprisingly - a singer.

In general, only the hardcore horror sites are bothering to cover Repo! news. This is mostly due to the direction of Darren Bousman, most famous for Saws II, III, and IV. They’re barely horror movies and Repo! looks even less so, which makes me wonder how much of an audience it will have.

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A Panda With Green Eyes?? CONSPIRACY!!

No, seriously!  Someone actually SAID this!  Specifically, Chinese performance artist Zhao Bandi (does that translate literally as “schmuck with way too much time on his hands”?), who is convinced that the recent Dreamworks release Kung Fu Panda is a thinly-veiled insult to the Chinese people.  All of them.

I really couldn’t believe it when I laid eyes on it.  Bandi’s reasoning is about as flimsy as a moth-eaten silk robe–apparently, portraying a panda as having green eyes makes him some kind of evil lunatic and making the panda’s father a duck is an insult of yo mamma proportions on the entire country.  Check out his own words:

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