Movie Trivia: Jason Voorhees–What a Long Strange Trip He’s Been

By now, most of us are probably familiar with Jason Voorhees, legendary badass teenybopper-chopper and terror of the great outdoors. He’s been called everything from a crusty little kid to a walking morality play and everything in between.

But one thing you have to say about Jason Voorhees is that his history is complex, deep, and frequently contradictory, as was a similar observation from Stacie Ponder over at the AMC Monsterfest blog.

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Movie Trivia: Why Does Michael Bay Hate Me So?

He hates you too, Michael!I don’t know why Michael Bay hates me so much. Maybe it’s because I call him a talentless hack fit only to put special effects on a screen as opposed to actual movies, but he hates me. I can tell. I only have to read news about his upcoming cinematic misery that is the Friday the 13th remake—coming out February 13th, 2009 for all of you who don’t yet know—to make that much perfectly clear.

Not only is Jason currently slated to be played by some kind of inbred cannibal wackjob from the Hills Have Eyes remake—a crime against filmgoers everywhere—but the further cast lists have also been updated.

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Movie Trivia: My Bloody Valentine Gets a Remake

Every single legendary and big-budget horror movie of the past fifty years has either been remade, or is going to be. If it had the slightest potential for monkeymaking brand recognition, the execs were on it like white on rice. But with Halloween, Friday the 13th, House of Wax, and Nightmare on Elm Street crossed off their lists, where will the studios turn next?

val.jpgWhy, B-movies, of course. This year will see a new version of 1980’s Prom Night, one of the films that helped crown Jamie Lee Curtis as Scream Queen. But the people want more - so they’ll get it.

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Movie trivia: Another Stupid Friday The 13th Remake Move.

The original and best.I’m extremely distressed about the news that keeps cropping up about the Friday the 13th remake, due out on the second darkest day of 2009, Day of Pain and Darkness Eve. Or February 13, 2009 for all of you who don’t find the fourteenth to be a morbid, depressing train wreck of a holiday. But anyway, the reason for my distress, for once, comes not from the day itself but from what will happen that day. Word is, the final list for actors to play the legendary Jason Voorhees includes—I can barely bring myself to say it—Michael Bailey Smith. Yes, the guy who played Pluto in the barely-watchable insult to the horror community, the remake of The Hills Have Eyes.

I’ll spare you all the unpleasantness of me seizing Michael Bay by the collar and screaming “KANE HODDER! IS THAT SO HARD?? KANE! HODDER!!” and instead switch to ennui. Bay is an idiot. A rich idiot who got where he is by pumping out overstimulating, oversimplified brain candy into our theatres. He has no respect for the genre and for its major names. Worse, Jason Voorhees is supposed to be a relentless juggernaut, a force of nature in its own right. Remember, this is that same force that stymied Freddy Krueger on his HOME TURF until Ronny Yu decided to shatter the continuity completely and make Jason—who mere installments before walked lengthwise through a lake—into a hydrophobic. Replacing him with a hopped-up cannibal is a royally stupid idea.

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Friday The 13th Remake–Panned in Advance

Did NOT start killing until the second movie.Friday the 13th, kids…it’s getting a remake, and it’s being released one day ahead of the Day of Pain and Darkness, February 13th. How spectacularly fitting! The question, of course, is what they’re actually going to do with that remake. Are they going to stick to the original? Or…oh boy.

Short answer, kids…it’s a no. The remake will feature Jason Voorhees. He will be in full hockey mask and he’ll be doing the killing. This is a horrible idea for any of literally dozens of reasons, but I’m going to try my best to keep my seething rage in check long enough to clock out a hundred and fifty words about this…this…oh, crap, I can’t do it.

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No Krueger? It’s Cool–Englund Goes Directing!

In the big chair now, this one is!So by now you’ve all had a chance to read my truly engrossing article on Robert Englund ditching Freddy Krueger, and you’re probably still shaken up. You might be wondering exactly why he wasn’t coming back. Well, I’ve got a reason for you! Brace yourself–he’s gone directing!

This Is Not The First Time, Either.

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Nightmare on Reboot Street

There are some films that just beg for a remake. A lot of older horror movies, for example - some of them hampered by a low budget and bad special effects - would benefit from a modern re-imagining. It sounds like a good idea, of course, but very few of the modern horror remakes have been any good. It’s the thought that counts, I guess.

Nightmare on Elme StreetOne concept I don’t understand at all is the planned reboot of Nightmare on Elm Street. I can understand what clicked in Rob Zombie’s head when he sat and watched Halloween - the lack of explanation for Michael Myers, which unfortunately was part of what made him scary, seemed like a good opportunity for a reboot. What is it about Elm Street that doesn’t satisfy? It’s corny, it’s a scream-fest, and the franchise ran strong through the 80’s and 90’s. What’s missing? What could a reboot possibly add?

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Ch-Ch-Chhhh…Hahhh Hahhh Haaaaaah–Friday The 13th Remake Afoot

In case you can’t tell–that peep is indeed wearing a hockey mask.The remake flood continues unabated as a new and somewhat shocking development comes at us—an entire franchise is apparently up for remake this time, and when you hear just which it is…well…who knows?

You may be stunned. You may be shocked. You may be vaguely alarmed. But you likely won’t be nonplussed.

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Friday the 13th: A Day That Will Live in Infamy. With December 7th.

It’s not just paraskavedekatriaphobia that makes Friday the 13th a dark day. It was the day that Sean S. Cunningham decided to take a run at the horror game and Ch-ch-chhhh hah-hah-haaaah.released the movie that dethroned The Empire Strikes Back. We saw iconic master-slasher Jason Voorhees come upon us all, and it has become the day most associated with bad luck. Friday the 13th has proven unlucky for promiscuous campers and assorted high school kids ever since.

Not Just Idle Trivia on Scream

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10 Horror Movie Factoids That You Didn’t Know

Who doesn’t love horror movies? They give you the chills and thrills you need to get through another day of holiday shopping!

Here are the Top 10 questions with the biggest names, the best directors, and the scariest movies that have stumped the most number of our horror movie buffs. Have fun with the factoids, and see if you can “one up” everyone else!

In a hurry? Check your answers at the very bottom of this post! Got time to play? Click our play trivia links and jump right into the game to find your answer!

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