I think we’re all pretty much on the same page by saying that Two Worlds sucked sour frog eye. As a game by itself, the best it could be called was mediocre, and the worst cannot be accomplished without a skein of profanity so wide and caustic that even I hesitate to type it here for fear of melting the very fabric of the universe.

Comparing it to Oblivion, as so many tried to do before it hit shelves, is an insult so egregious that, if I were wearing gloves, I would demand satisfaction against whoever was actually brain-damaged enough to suggest a comparison was possible.

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Finally, my disgust with the first person shooter genre, especially as it relates to the Xbox 360, is being echoed in the blogosphere, even on Destructoid as Twisted Imp lays it out, briefly.

So let me amplify–I am sick unto death of first person shooters. I’m tired of crawling around warehouses and through planetary cores, doing nothing but pulling my trigger every time something unpleasant wanders into my frame of vision. I’m tired of collecting progressively larger weapons, and I’m sick of the latest BFG. I’m tired of games that are little more than a collection of quests with all the forward thinking of the end of my barrel.

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I’m not usually one to climb atop my milk crate and commend companies for their valiant efforts making new maps for old games. I’ve actually never purchased one Microsoft Point worth of DLC - and I don’t see that changing anytime soon - but even a cheapskate like me can recognize pure awesomeness. One of my favorite maps from Halo: CE is making a glorious return in Man-Cannoning, shield deploying, High Defining action. I present Avalanche, also known as Sidewinder 2: The Return of Ice Hogging.

Sure, you can say it’s lazy to simply remake an old classic, but I’m all for it. Why should good maps die just because a sequel has rendered the game they’re currently housed in completely irrelevant? If anything, we should have more remakes. Perfect Dark Zero magically transformed into a fun multiplayer game when Temple and Facility made their triumphant return, maybe I’ll start playing Halo 3 again if they bring back more classic maps. Consider my vote officially cast for Chiron TL-34. I need more wacky teleporting hijinx in my FPS.

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According to my research, the only casual gamer still playing Halo 3 is the unfortunate child who got saddled with the Cat Helmet edition for Christmas when his mom couldn’t find the fabled Wii. Granted, the majority of my research boiled down to looking for pictures of cats wearing said helmet, but my point still stands: a highly polished, inherently fun and grossly hyped game seems to have vanished overnight. Is Halo 3 hiding somewhere, perhaps under the third mention of that tiny Master Chief repli-cat helmet, or is it being actively ignored by a fanbase scared of the bullet?

Master Chief Throws a Fireball

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