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Okay, okay.  Got to breathe…got to calm down.  Calm blue ocean, calm blue ocean…happy place….HAPPY PLLAAAACE….

I can’t DO it any more!  This is TOO GOOD!  Seriously, THIS IS TOO GOOD! Man, I’m punching caps unrestrainedly here–this is beyond belief!  By now you’re probably all wondering what’s got my proverbial knickers in the equally proverbial twist, and I’ll be more than happy to fill you in.

See, a few months back, a great thing happened.  We got our first George Romero zombie movie in years that had no connections to some big-bucks studio who was going to screw it up with more executive meddling than the entire Fox network.  It was given somewhat of a mixed reception, with people either loving it (like myself) or hating it (like brain-damaged troglodytes and Zac Snyder).  Okay, I’m just kidding on that last one, but still.  It’s great news to a chunk of the audience of the last one that shooting on Diary of the Dead 2 will begin in September, and a synopsis is available.  Check it out: [Read more →]

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Repo! The Genetic Opera. What a title.

Trying to explain the film makes you sound every bit as schizophrenic as the new trailer, which features familiar faces like Paul Sorvino, Alexa Vega, Paris HIlton, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s Anthony Head. There’s even the sweet-voiced singer Sarah Brightman, who plays - surprisingly - a singer.

In general, only the hardcore horror sites are bothering to cover Repo! news. This is mostly due to the direction of Darren Bousman, most famous for Saws II, III, and IV. They’re barely horror movies and Repo! looks even less so, which makes me wonder how much of an audience it will have.

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So they started talking to Michael Bay about the upcoming Friday the 13th remake–scheduled to hit us where we live February 2009, naturally on Friday the 13th–and the man is bound and determined to drive us all insane.  Why?  Because he’s interviewing in an horrendously contradictory fashion and I really want to SMACK him one.

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It’s like the Apocalypse out here.  Seriously.  Wars, rumors of wars, assorted whatnot, Wes Craven coming back–again!

It seems that the Weinsteins signed a seven-year deal with the folks out at Showtime, and this opened up the floor to all sorts of insanity, including but not limited to the concept of Scream Four getting bandied around.

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No, SERIOUSLY!  I haven’t felt this jovial since someone hamstrung Herr Doktor’s Postal wreckage!

Why?  That’s an EASY one!  The Screen Actors Guild has turned down AMPTP’s “last, best, and final offer”, an offer which reportedly contained over two hundred fifty million dollars in additional compensation, the much-vaunted new media protection rights that the WGA signed away in the first place and even protection for health and pension benefits.

This frees the AMPTP to do one of two things–they can either enforce the terms of the current contract and tell the SAG where to get off or they can make separate deals, as I suggested earlier, with AFTRA, who has no problem with the AMPTP’s current contract.

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I took me a long time to get around to seeing Saw. It didn’t really interest me; maybe because of all the hype, or maybe because it seemed too much like a Hostel-style gorefest without any actual redeeming qualities.

Much to my surprise, when I finally saw (lol!) the movies, I liked them. I liked them a lot. Jigsaw is a very effective character, his victims seem to deserve it, but you can’t help but put yourself in their shoes. “Well, I would have found the path through the barbed wire.” “I would have stayed in the chair instead of jumping up and panicking.” “I would have put my arms around my head so that the spikes wouldn’t go through to my brain.” We all think we know the secret to surviving.

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Oh wow.  Sometimes, there’s news out there that just refuses to make sense.

And this is one such item. Apparently, Anchor Bay, responsible for some of the best re-releases of movies on earth (and about thirty different box sets of the Evil Dead series) has taken over the Children of the Corn series from rival Dimension Films and has set out to film a remake for the Sci-Fi Channel.

This amazes me to no end.  I mean, seriously–Children of the Corn?  Remade?  On the one hand, it’s nice to see the old Children of the Corn franchise get some time in the sun again, but as a made-for-tv movie?  On the SCI-FI CHANNEL??  The ignominy!  I have such great memories of the Children of the Corn franchise…and to see it all come to this is just…sad.

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Apparently, some collective of morons out there has started a petition circulating that encourages the addition of a certain cast member to the upcoming Nightmare on Elm Street remake.

A counterpetition was launched directly after–not surprisingly–that DISCOURAGED the addition of this same cast member to the upcoming Nightmare on Elm Street remake.

It might surprise you when I tell you that for is currently outweighing against by a factor of two to one in favor, especially when you find out who it is.  Okay, enough beating around the bush already–no pun intended–the actress in question is none other than Hollywood speed bump TARA REID!!

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Love him or hate him, Stanley Kubrick was one of the most well-known directors in the industry. His films, ranging from the horror classic The Shining to the utterly bewildering Eyes Wide Shut, never failed to stir up controversy.

As we speak, the UK’s Channel 4 - not to be confused with BBC4 - is preparing for a Stanley Kubrick marathon to honor the influential director. In order to promote this lineup, they have painstakingly recreated the set of The Shining, complete with cast lookalikes and all the little details, to film a minute-long video.

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Apparently, Bruce Campbell might’ve taken his status on last year’s Film Threat Frigid Fifty seriously.

The popular online film mag castigated Campbell for his relentless push into crap. But–and this is one J. Lo style but (oh, who can resist busting out the J. Lo cracks?)–there’s some evidence that Bruce might be getting ready to strap on the chainsaw and the metal hand and show a few uglies the door in Evil Dead 4.

A video review is now up on Entertainment Weekly, and it’s downright groovy.

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