An Open Letter To Vudu

Hey Vudunauts–

I hear that things aren’t going so well for you specifically, and you’ve even gone so far as to lay off just over fifteen percent of your entire staff, most of whom have probably gone on to get jobs with Netflix or Blockbuster.com, both of which are going great guns.

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Is Zack Snyder a Good Director?

This is an important question for Watchmen fans, who are looking for anything to ponder while we wait to see what will happen with the whole Fox lawsuit fiasco. Will Watchmen be a film worth worrying over?

So far, director Zack Snyder has only a few credits to his name. One of them is the Frank Miller epic 300, and the other is a “remake” of George Romero’s Dawn of the Dead. Having seen both versions, I’m hesitant to characterize Snyder’s as a “remake.” More like a re-imagining, very loosely based on Romero’s film.

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The Rock-Afire Explosion, or, Vaguely Creepy Automatons Land Own Documentary

There are days, o my readership, when your humble badass freelance entertainment journalist buddy Steve feels like a doddering old relic staring into the abyss of tomorrow and not liking what he sees down there one bit. I’m feeling OLD, and there is good reason.

A small personal lacunae, folks–if you’re nearing your thirties like me, or have just started down that particular bunny trail to hell, you may well remember relentlessly pestering your parents (sorry, mom and dad–I’m guilty on this point myself!) to take you to a little place called Showbiz Pizza, a very special place to children of the eighties because it contained everything in it that children of the eighties demanded in their entertainment.

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Terrible News for Helena Bonham Carter Hamstrings Terminator Salvation Filming

Hollywood, in a very real sense, is the most selfish industry on earth.  Everything that happens has an effect on projects currently in development.  Any time a birth or a death or an injury takes place, the immediate (or near-immediate) reaction is “What does this mean for (insert title of current project here)?”

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The Best Quentin Tarantino Movie Ever

…has almost nothing to do with Quentin Tarantino

How do I know? Because I just found it on Yahoo, and my keyboard is currently soaked with drool.

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Kevin Smith on Trekking Stars

Recently, a cult director who may or may not be named Kevin Smith may or may not have seen a particular film. This film, though it hasn’t been talked about as much as some, is an adaptation of a very very popular television show from many years ago, that has had many spinoffs, and takes place in outer space.

I think you know what I’m talking about.

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And The Worst Part Is, I’ve Been Saying This For Months

3-D IS A POINTLESS GIMMICK DESIGNED TO DISTRACT YOU FROM THE FACT THAT HOLLYWOOD HAS NO GOOD IDEAS ANY MORE AND THEY’RE JUST COASTING TO DIVORCE YOU FROM YOUR MONEY.

How many times do I have to say it?  Seriously.  The people who aren’t looking at me like I’m a lunatic every time I talk just plain old don’t know I exist.  But my punditry score just went through the bloody damn roof today because what I’ve been saying for the last several months–that big huge bolded thing at the top of the page–has just got a serious echo in.

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Dark Castle Lowering Drawbridge–Plans Fresh Releases

Now, this news made me plenty happy when I heard about it, and hopefully it’ll put a spark in your morning too.  I see a LOT of horror movies–I’m probably not telling you anything new there, and if I am, welcome to my world–so it’s safe to say I know what I’m talking about.  The thing is, most of the horror movies I see are mediocre at best, and downright crapola at worst.

But there was one studio I could count on to put out movies that were at LEAST mediocre, and often downright entertaining.  Oh, sure, there were no Oscar winners in the batch but we don’t go to horror flicks for the award-winning plots–we go for the adrenaline rush that comes from someone getting chased and at the end of it all we can all smile at the credit roll, breathe a little sigh of relief, and get up from our chairs, satisified but not necessarily enriched.  The term “pleasant diversion” is a good one to releate to horror filmmaking, and that’s what I to date have been ALWAYS able to count on from William Castle redux Dark Castle Studios.

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Is The Fix In On Joss Whedon’s Next Movie?

Special attention to everyone out there in the blogosphere (see, Liz, you CAN use that word without your head exploding) who owns a “Joss Whedon Is My Master Now” t-shirt: you may want to get it out and gather pitchforks and torches for a run on MGM, because they’ve just about guaranteed that his next movie will fail. He’s been working with Drew Goddard, formerly of Cloverfield, on a new film called The Cabin in the Woods.

Though the plot of the movie is being held under the tightest of wraps, the plot BEHIND the movie is looking pretty clear–by all current indicators, MGM wants Whedon to tank, and do it quickly. Why, you ask? Because of the slated release date for Whedon’s newest opus: October 23.

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Remake Rundown!

Um…okay…let’s not panic here, but…there’s some bad news.

Remember when I told you about that Candyman remake?

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