I have a feeling that the premise of “Dollhouse” was supposed to wow us. I think we’re supposed to go, “gee, a secret organization that wipes people’s memories and imprints them with personalities and abilities and then rents them out for specialized jobs? I want to see how that plays out!”

My actual reactions to first hearing about the show were, in order:

1. What?
2. Special skills, huh?
3. Is it lunchtime yet?

I don’t know what it is about Dollhouse, but I just can’t imagine the premise going anywhere interesting. The idea is compelling for about three seconds, but honestly, can you imagine something like this existing in real life? And if it did, why would anyone bother? There are already expert safe-crackers, spies, midwives, etc. who probably cost less than the Actives in Dollhouse, considering the amount of R&D that must have gone into them. Not to mention the sleek decor in their headquarters. And the state-of-the-art computers. And the doctors. And the massage therapists.

Basically, it’s something that I can’t accept the existence of, even in the realm of fiction. With Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Joss Whedon’s last show, we at least had something that made sense. Whedon created a need for Buffy, then created her. In Sunnydale, there are vampires. Ergo, in Sunnydale, there is a vampire slayer. Dollhouse doesn’t quite work so well: the world needs certain complex jobs done. Ergo, there are…zombie people who will do them for you?

It just seems weird. And risky. After all, protagonist Echo has already had crazy ‘Nam-style flashbacks in the middle of important missions. One of them even led to her reverting to her childlike state during a complex heist. Why not just hire a real safe-cracker?

It seems weird to set up this whole web of ritual abuse based on dodgy technology with the hope of hiring people out to do odd jobs, mostly by word of mouth, since most of it can’t really be advertised in the phone book. The latest episode’s midwifery really baffled me. Why on earth would you need to hire an Active to birth your child? Why wouldn’t you want to give your money to a legitimate midwife instead?

I don’t know if they’re going to address these issues before this Monday-night throwaway inevitably gets cancelled, but I’m kind of sad that Joss Whedon couldn’t give us something better than this. We know he’s good for it.

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