Somewhere, Arthur Conan Doyle and Some Fairies Are Weeping
Nobody is going to believe this story, but I’m telling it anyway.
Back in the early stages of our relationship, my boyfriend and I, like many young couples, spent hours on the phone together. As media buffs, we often spent this time dreaming up ridiculous ideas for films and T.V. 
shows. “Larry Teacger, Sheepish Coroner” is still one of my favorites.
But our magnum opus, by far, was the Sherlock Holmes movie.
There hadn’t really been a big-budget Holmes movie, we realized. Yet there was such a market for it! Drawing on my extensive Holmes knowledge, gathered during my adolescent obsession with the detective, we began to hatch a plot.
Oh yes, there would be Moriarty.
I no longer remember any of the brilliant things we came up with. Because the following morning, I began browsing one of my favorite forums and saw the headline “Guy Richie to direct new Sherlock Holmes!”
Believe it or not.
We both immediately decided that he was going to make a mess of it. Based on a comic book? Modernized? Less “Victorian stuffiness?” Oh, ugh. They were probably going to give him a love interest. What a horrible idea.
But my disgust at the Guy Richie Holmes, which thankfully has yet to see the light of day, pales in comparison to the horror I feel at this news.
My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?
Yes, Judd Apatow’s take on Sherlock Holmes starring Sacha Baron Cohen and Will Ferrell. WHY.
Thinking about it, there is a possibility that a straight Holmes story with the two of them could be good. If they played their roles seriously, which I am sure Cohen is capable of, it might be a decent take on the series. Holmes and Watson were, after all, young men when they met. I’m tired of always seeing a geriatric pair.
But a Holmes comedy? It might be kind of cool and wacky, like Without a Clue, but one Without a Clue is enough.
Please, Judd Apatow. No. Leave my childhood alone.
P.S. Guy Richie - if you do, in fact, cast Robert Downey Jr. as Sherlock Holmes, all is forgiven. All is forgiven. Please send him to my place when you’re done.
Tags: pop culture, entertainment, hobbies
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Noooooooo!!!! Not a Holmes comedy, please!! I agree with you here, Judd Apatow needs to stay far, far away from any Doyle work.
Cohen annoys me to death, so I wouldn’t see any movie in which he has a major role, even if he did play Holmes straight.
I actually liked Ferrell in Stranger Than Fiction, one of his few non-slapstick efforts. He might be okay in a straight version, but not a comedy!