I don’t know why I’m having such a hard time wrapping my head around this.

Seriously…I mean, I’ve seen out and out lunacy before and it really doesn’t faze me.  So why am I having such a hard time understand what kind of daffy bastard could release something like War Monkeys?

We learned this weekend that Kevin Munroe (TMNT) will be getting behind the camera for Dark Horse Indie’s War Monkeys, a new adaptation that follows a janitor who, during a Christmas holiday, gets trapped in an underground research facility with military-trained Rhesus monkeys. The project is slated to be filmed after Munroe completes DEAD OF NIGHT, his adaptation of DYLAN DOG, which begins lensing in the New Year.

Yeah, I just read that like three times now but I’m STILL completely lost.  Military trained rhesus monkeys?  This sounds a lot like old science fiction I did when I was back in college.  I put mine in suits of powered armor–the training was the best part, though.  I’d inject them with rabies and peyote and not feed them for three days, then hook their brains to computer processors where everything that should be a target looked like a three-headed warthog.  Those monkeys had NO problem shooting anything that crossed their path with 35mm depleted uranium rounds, that’s for sure!  I even used rhesus monkeys–I said they were “Nature’s psychopaths”.

But you see, the key difference between my insane collegiate rantings and this movie is that someone thought enough of it to put money behind the movie.  I never thought enough of my plot-device monkeys (which I referred to as Furious George units) to build an entire script around them and send them after a janitor over Christmas break.

So I’m really having a hard time figuring out if I missed an opportunity or spared myself a lot of embarrassment.   I’m guessing it’s the embarrassment, but it’ll be another few months before I find out about where this action movie goes.

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