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Like many horror flicks before it, the upcoming movie The Strangers claims to be “based on true events.” In a way, this has to be accurate. Pretty much anything that can happen has happened already. The Strangers might be based on the Manson killings, but even if it wasn’t, you can be sure that, at some point in history, mysterious masked men have broken into a peaceful isolated cabin and wreaked havoc on the occupants.

It’s entirely possible that something like what happens in the movie will never happen to you. But can you really afford to take that 0.8% risk that it just might? In the spirit of some popular survival handbooks, here are a few tips on how to survive the most common horror movie scenarios. (Remember, we’re not professionals, and are not making any claims that the advice here will save your life in any real-life danger.)

The Strange House

The Strangers / Panic Room / Etc.
When you’re in an unfamiliar place, you’re more vulnerable than you are in your own home. Here’s how to prepare for the unlikely event that the previous tenant left several million dollars hidden on the premises, and his buddies are angry about it.

• DO keep your windows and doors locked. While it’s not difficult to break into a locked house, it’s much noisier and more involved than simply walking through the front door.
• DO keep your curtains drawn, and keep sound and lights to a minimum. There’s no need to attract attention. But don’t pretend like it’s Halloween and you forgot to buy candy; a seemingly empty house can draw break-ins too.
• DO be aware of your surroundings. Make note of all possible exits and hiding places before you trundle off to bed. And for God’s sake, hook up the phone!
• DON’T try to be a hero. Seeking help is nothing to be ashamed of, and cooperating with law enforcement is always a good plan.
• DON’T assume that you know what the intruders are after. Just comply with their demands.
• DON’T stress that it’s not your house. You may be confused and disoriented, but there’s no reason to reveal this.

The Psychopath

Halloween / The Silence of the Lambs / Saw
Psycho killer, qu’est-ce que c’est? If you can’t avoid being captured, then relating to your assailant might be the best way to get out alive. Also, the annoying ones always die first.

• DO be empathic towards the assailant. Ask him about himself and be understanding if he expresses frustration or anger towards others. (Don’t be Detective Matthews. He was pretty dense, even for a detective.)
• DO encourage the assailant to be empathic towards you. Talk about your family and your life, to encourage him to see you as a human being.
• DO play by his rules. Complying with your assailant’s demands is the best way to stay alive.
• DON’T make foolish attempts to escape when your assailant can still overpower you.
• DON’T, on the other hand, be afraid to use force if the opportunity presents itself. Given an obvious vulnerability, you should judge for yourself whether it’s safe to act.
• DON’T be afraid to use the buddy system to avoid this situation in the first place. Parking garages, empty streets, and other isolated places are not good places to be after-hours. Attacks are known to happen more often in the early morning, even as late as 8 am. Don’t assume you’re safe after sunrise.

The Things That Go Bump in the Night

Poltergeist / The Exorcist / A Nightmare on Elm Street
You don’t have to believe in the supernatural to realize that some things in this life just can’t be explained. If you find yourself confronted with a preternatural dilemma, here are some things to keep in mind.

• DO keep an open mind. Denying that you are in danger just because the danger seems inexplicable is foolish.
• DO document what is happening to examine later. While paranormal happenings have a way of not showing up on tape, it’s certainly worth a shot.
• DO seek a rational explanation first. The odds are against some sort of inexplicable event, so seek the logical side first.



• DON’T let your imagination run away with you.
• DON’T “stick it out” in a potentially dangerous situation. You wouldn’t stay in a burning house, so don’t stay in a haunted one either. Even if it’s just pranksters, you might be in danger of losing property, your job, or even your life.
• DON’T turn away advice, tips, or any light that people or legends can shed on your situation. Even a ritual incense-burning might improve your state of mind, so be open to trying new things.

The Apocalypse

28 Days Later / The Mist / Dawn of the Dead
The world’s going to end sooner or later. Whether humanity will die out gradually of our own gluttony or in a spectacular sweeping disease, nobody is sure - but confronting the apocalypse isn’t easy.

• DO be self-sufficient. Relying on others for food, water, or even companionship isn’t a great idea as society decays. People always turn on each other in times of crisis.
• DO think creatively. When you can’t get what you need, come up with a substitute. Luxuries rendered unnecessary might find a second life as some new tool for survival.
• DO be prepared to fight. In the event of society collapsing, wild animals/zompires might breach the borders sooner than you think.
• DON’T give up hope. You can make it! Premature suicides or mercy killings can only end in tears.
• DON’T be afraid to fend for yourself. Friends and loved ones are just as susceptible to hysteria as everyone else, and you must be prepared to go it alone and even to defend yourself against them.
• DON’T rely on your pre-apocalypse ethics. A strict “no looting” policy will serve you in a 24-hour blackout, but when convenience stores are shut down because the entire staff has been eaten by giant spiders, it’s time to reorganize your priorities.

The Big Bad

Cloverfield / Slither / Jaws
A monster on the loose? Maybe it’s just an escaped grizzly, but you can always apply concepts you learned from the movies.

• DO be aware of the monster’s location, and avoid it if you can.
• DO gather supplies like food, water, and other necessities in areas that are still safe, before the monster reaches them.
• DO conserve your energy, rather than running around in hysterics.
• DON’T needlessly isolate yourself from the crowd unless they are in immediate danger. There’s safety in numbers. Remember Rob in Cloverfield? Yeah, she wasn’t worth it.
• DON’T assume that the monster you see is the only one. Often, Big Bads and a host of “little bads” can work as distractions for each other, so be aware of danger in all forms.
• DON’T be an isolationist. You need your friends now more than ever. Unless they’re stuck across town, in which case, they’re on their own.

General Tips
Being safe every day will give you a head start in the event of…well, pretty much anything.

• DO know how to defend yourself. Educate yourself about firearms and other weapons. Even if you don’t own any yourself, the knowledge could save your life.



• DO make sure that your home is secure. Alarms, heavy locks, and sturdy windows are all a must for maximum safety.
• DO have a “panic room” of your own. Solid-core doors are recommended for at least one room in your house, to which you can easily flee in the event of a break-in. Add a deadbolt for extra security, and make sure the room has a wired-in phone.
• DON’T rely on just one method of home security. You might be surprised when your “guard dog” sleeps through a robbery.
• DON’T ignore your instincts. We all have built-in senses that might tell us when we are in danger. Get out of situations that make you feel uncomfortable.
• DON’T get paranoid. Chances are, the world isn’t going to end on your watch.

DO take all of this advice with a grain of salt!

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