Well, it was probably only a matter of time before it came down to this…but someone–ostensibly the Sith party–has put together their ultimate dream ticket of Vader / Tarkin for 2008.  I guess the trend of having actors run for office has now extended to Star Wars characters.

While not a whole lot immediately springs to mind about Vader’s running mate, Grand Moff Tarkin seems to be something of a liability.  Initial research reveals that he’s not only the mastermind behind the Ghorman Massacre, but also the progenitor of the Tarkin Doctrine, otherwise known, colorfully enough, as “the doctrine of fear”.

A guy with a slogan like “Ask not what Lord Vader can do for you, but what you can do to make him not kill you” is probably not the best choice for the White House, but maybe he’ll surprise us with his platform! Let’s take a look at the rundown!

Pro-death. Why this is a good thing, I’m not sure.

Environmental awareness. Somehow this is evidenced by his destruction of Alderaan, because they’ve run footage of it directly after declaring him environmentally aware.  I’m not sure exactly how the two link up, but there must be something I’m just missing.

Pro-corporal punishment. Considering he engaged his own son in several lightsaber duels, I think this one’s a pretty safe bet.

Increased military strength. I think you can also claim he’s pro-cloning research, too, but it’s clear that Lord Vader would definitely go on a wild expansion of military muscle.

And when you add to that the fact that Vader seems to have something of a drinking problem, it’s pretty safe to say that no one wants Darth Vader in office either.  His policies would likely result in empire building on a scale unimagined by even Dick Cheney.  So if you’re looking for four more years of Bush, but somehow, even MORE so, then Vader / Tarkin 08 is the ticket for you!

Tags: life, entertainment, recreation

Popularity: 2% [?]

Categories: Movie stories //