Okay, before everybody jumps down my throat all at once for actually using the word “queer” in an article, restrain yourselves and go have a look at this.

Michael Cera, whom you’ll remember from Juno and Arrested Development and Superbad because he played very nearly the same character in all three, will be back for more typecasting fun in “Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist,” which features the following as a plot synopsis:

High school student Nick O’Leary, member of the queercore band The Jerk Offs, meets college-bound Norah Silverberg and asks her to be his girlfriend for five minutes in order to avoid his ex-sweetheart.

Buh?

Seriously, I’m confused as all hell at this point. One, Michael Cera–what is wrong with you? Are you bound and determined to play George Michael in EVERY MOVIE YOU EVER APPEAR IN EVER? Just once I’d like to see you handling the axe in a slasher flick or something. Maybe something in a badass action role–you could be like a Navy Seal or something. Play Rocky. Do something–anything!–besides playing the shy, mildly callow, goofy boy. You must just love being typecast, dude, because you’re WELL on your way.

Second, how exactly do you get a ninety minute movie out of “Some schmuck gets a temporary fake girlfriend to avoid old girlfriend”? Oh, LET me guess. Nick’s going to find out that there’s a lot more to Norah than he expected, and Norah’s going to discover that there’s something–what, I don’t know–beneath Nick’s shy, mildly callow, goofy boy exterior and they’re going to fall magically in love. The fact that I’ve pretty much already seen the movie before they even finish shooting it does not bode well.

But what does bode well, however, is the Arrested Development trivia on Kwanzoo. That’s always fun.

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